


Eien no - 永遠の

by oofen_flugen



Series: choir of the not quite forgotten [2]
Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Ash Lynx Goes to Japan, Ash Lynx Lives, Ash Lynx Needs A Hug, Ash is trying guys, BAMF Okumura Eiji, Communication Issues, Eiji Deserves the World, Eiji's mental health go brrr, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I promise, M/M, Okumura Eiji Needs a Hug, Past Suicide Attempt, So yikes, and i will fight for him, apparently yut lung is the best at communicating, but not for good reasons, fluff (very little to be fair) but its there, its bad, slightly out of character eiji but like my boy has trauma, so many of them, the yuesing can be interpreted romantically or platonically, they just need LOVE in whatever form it comes in, yut lung will fucking get a redemption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:53:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26940202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oofen_flugen/pseuds/oofen_flugen
Summary: Part two of Omamori- *not a stand-alone*Eiji deals with his abusive past while struggling to see a way forward, all with the looming threats followed by the revelation that Ash Lynx is still alive. Will Ash be at his side or will the years apart be too much?
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, Lee Yut-Lung & Okumura Eiji, Lee Yut-Lung & Sing Soo-Ling, Lee Yut-Lung/Sing Soo-Ling, Max Lobo/Jessica Randy
Series: choir of the not quite forgotten [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1960021
Comments: 28
Kudos: 106





	1. Daggers and stitches- Prolouge

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, my lovely readers! The next part in the series starts now, and honestly, I have so many ideas that I don't know what to do with them. If you haven't already read part one, please read it first so you won't be totally lost. This picks up right after as a sort of prologue before we start the new ~drama~.

Eiji didn’t remember much of his childhood, and the parts he did remember were either too clear to be comfortable or hazy. Sometimes he wondered if his memories were his own to make up as if every moment spent pondering added a piece to what he thought he perceived. He was always studious- his sister told him that much. His desks were littered with books, and as much as he enjoyed the sensation of getting lost in the sea of words he never truly liked reading. After a few sentences, the words would blend into the page, and while he could acknowledge the passing of words, few stuck. Yet he managed to get good marks until his accident. Even with a semester of mostly failing grades, he passed the year with flying colors if only for the extra credit of the advanced courses lining his schedule. His dad died when Eiji was a sophomore. Kumi was devastated enough that she begged to be sent off to a boarding school and after a final outburst between her and their mother she was allowed to go. With Kumi gone more than half of the year, Eiji threw himself into pole vaulting. If he had to pinpoint an exact moment when he started forgetting things it would probably be that year. He had two minimum wage jobs, and his mother was tossed around from small gigs to the next. The day was school, practice, work, sleep. Rinse and repeat.

As much as Eiji secretly craved the compliments the people in America gave him, it was hard to internalize them when they weren’t true. Max had said it was easy to open up to him, that his presence was comforting. If shared experiences could really connect people, if shared suffering was more dependable than any personality test, the instant adoption by a gang spoke to something other than innocence. Consolation is only dependable if both parties have nothing to lose. Max must have confused warmth to headfirst dives into the deep. Even if he still chuckled at the thought of his own dependability, Eiji had to admit how easily he walked into hell at a moment's notice. He wondered when he equated fire to belonging.

He could feel his hands shaking, and while the corner he found himself in wasn’t exactly a warm and welcoming space, it still sent mock chills across his skin. He hated this. He hated the sudden urge to run and hide at any threat. He hated the way apologizes played through his head and poured out of his lips in silent muttering. He wouldn’t blame Ash for leaving. He could already hear a plane taking off, engines twisting and turning and morphing into a blur of grays.

He was so surprised when he wasn’t afraid of flying. He’d never had the chance to before, and the handbook of emergency procedures intimidated him, and yet he felt at ease at eye level with the clouds. 

He wondered how many hours in the sky he could go for. Time moves differently up there, and maybe, just maybe then he could be calm enough for the muscles in his jaw to completely relax.

He looked down to see his overcast shadow under the fluorescent lights.  _ When had he stood up? _ A chain of footsteps echoed outside, and a gentle banter swept the halls. The exhibit must have started. Eiji confided in Ash’s ability to find any obscure piece of information that he set his mind to, but Eiji still doubted that he would come. There were two possibilities: whatever he thought Eiji was hiding was intriguing enough that he would tear the building apart, or he would be revolted enough at the outpour of emotions that stained the hotel room and disappear. Maybe if he went in guns blazing in some semblance of a protagonist plotline would solve everything. A Deux ex Machina in the form of machine guns and adrenaline-laced confessions. 

Ash wouldn’t show up- Eiji knew it. Other than the building laden with people and the few exits that would bury paranoia into his skin, Ash had to know… 

Maybe that was his problem, Eiji realized. He played in easily interpretable sentences. If someone wanted to twist his words, they could create macrame and hang him from it. Who knew what he wanted? Flowery language is subjected to the same seasons, and the wilting comes through more often than not. 

“Ash,” he whispered with one hand on the door, and a deep chilling inhale, “please don’t go.”

  * \- 



Ash pulled up to the gallery. He’d debated not going, in fact, he longed to stay as far away from it as possible. Unfortunately, it turned out to be the exact meeting place Max had planned. Eiji wasn’t even aware of it. 

Ash didn’t know how to feel, every snapshot of their conversation just pulled him more and more into each otherwise autonomous function. His brain counted each step, gave the cue to inhale- each blink, each movement was enough to keep Ash in control. He saw Max, Ibe, and Jessica leaning against the brick wall of the gallery, the uneasy silence radiating a hundred feet around them. Ash walked past them giving a knowing look to Max who mirrored it with one of his own. 

The building itself was nice. Tall marble columns sat on either side of the entrance, the sidewalk immediately got cleaner and shades lighter on the line of the property. Yet it still remained humble. A man stood with stacks of papers, handing them out with a cheery grin, and whatever formalities the architecture created was diminished by the hoards of sleep-deprived college students filling the lobby. Bulletin boards of art programs sat propped against the wall, and an obviously rented carpet marked a clear path surrounded by a myriad of photographs. The lighting was too low for Ash’s part, dim lighting meant danger regardless of the ambiance- although he supposed it made sense, a room full of glare on the developed film would be problematic. The one thing he couldn’t though was Eiji. The other photographers- some even donning their cameras around their neck- stood in front of their work. Ash had heard of critiques and wondered if the exhibit doubled as one. 

Max waved them over to a raised table, he propped an elbow against the top, and the table tipped under its weight. “Where’s Eiji?” He asked, glancing around again before turning to Ash. “You said he’d be here.”

“He doesn’t know we’re coming,” Ash explained. “He’s probably in the back or something.” He waved off down the carpeted aisle, and Ibe and Jessica turned and mingled their way there. Max stayed glued next to Ash. 

“Did something happen?” the older man finally asked.

“You guys go look for him, I’m going to stay out here,” Ash ordered instead, eyes still glued to the entrance. 

Max’s face dropped more, but he sighed and pushed himself off the table and walked towards Jessica with hushed apologies to the other guests. It felt empty without him. As much as Ash prided himself on operating alone, he still marched to follow Max. Eiji had been so concerned with his photographs, and even if it was just a guise to be alone, Ash couldn’t help but wonder what they were. It was unlikely that Eiji would even be around, and if he was there were three other people to cushion the silence. He played the rationale on repeat, but he knew he wanted to see Eiji. If he was truly scared of him- the words felt bitter in his mind - there was a chance that Ash could do something to fix it. At least he hoped so.

When he finally reached the other’s Max gave him a sympathetic smile and waved them onward. Jessica latched onto Max’s side, and Ibe glanced around nervously. It was only a few paces until they reached a large open room covered in enlarged photographs. Ash scanned the room. There wasn’t much else to do. He knew that one step towards the other visitors would cause his hand to fly to the knife hidden in the side of his shoe. His gang would pester him for the worn and flimsy converses he wore religiously. They weren’t practical for any damaging movements, not quieter, no more durable. At first, it was a slim shot of rebellion from the luxury shoes Golzine stocked the mansion with. It was only after Blanca arrived, and the man's own patented insert of weapons on the inside of each pair of shoes Ash owned, that Ash kept with the pattern. As Ash glanced around the room he shivered at the attempt of lavish designs, but relaxed when the pieces crumbled apart under observation. Velvet curtains hung over the windows, and ornate parchment hung with various characters in delicate rows, and yet the photographs were messily tacked to the wall.

It took a few moments for Ash to see the photo in the farthest corner. Max seemed to notice it at the same time, but hung back and glanced away. 

Ash hated photos. And at some level, it wasn’t even his history with them. It wasn’t the fear that accompanied the shutter. As often as the flash made him shutter, it wasn’t even those reactions that made him hate it. Not now.

Their whole time in America Eiji kept hundreds of photos of every little moment. Ash didn’t have anything left explicitly of Shorter’s. Any possession could be mistaken as a threat and a challenge, and the whole relationship their gangs had cultivated could be exploited. Nadia didn’t have anything either. Shorter got rid of them the first truly dangerous thing happened. Nadia always preached that she understood, but the spare room above Chang Dai still had the frames that his pictures must have been in. Ash could remember one night at the apartment. Eiji scrambled through his camera roll and brought out dozens of photos of Shorter. He’d been the most photogenic- or at least the only one who volunteered for all the pictures. Before Ash had left the apartment for the last time he found a photo album full of all of them with his name written in messy cursive. The guilt weighed on Ash but flipping through the pages of cheesy smiles, and photobombs Ash was able to reminisce happily. 

Ash didn’t know why he was surprised to see a photo of himself with Eiji’s name printed under it. Ash had no memory of Eiji even taking it. The skyline framed the background slightly out of focus, and the open window longed for a sense of freedom. 

All of the text he had seen in the building was in Japanese, and yet the caption under his photo was in English. 

_ A wish for eternal dawn - 永遠の夜明けへの願い _

It was the same time he noticed a person behind him, he turned around and saw Eiji- smile adorned on his face, although it was more of an offering than a joyous remark. Ash had heard the footsteps but could almost immediately recognized them as Eiji’s. His eyes were still red and fell with each blink. The same lanyard of all the photographers hung loosely around his neck, the edges looked scribbled on with a pen. 

“You didn’t leave,” Eiji muttered playing with his hands. A few strands of hair fell across his face, and Ash pushed them back instinctively. 

“I didn’t leave,” he returned in the same soft tone. Eiji’s eyes gleamed as if the highlights performed pirouettes in the darkness of his eyes. “You said your soul was always with me,” Ash explained, with a cadence of adoring affection, “it’s only right for me to return it.” 

Eiji rocked hesitantly on his heels, and Ash opened his arms with a knowing look. Eiji fell into the embrace the moment he realized it and buried his face in Ash’s shoulder. The knitted fabric of Eiji’s jacket felt comforting against Ash’s palms. “I’m sorry,” Eiji whispered. “I didn’t mean it- not really.” He hesitated, and Ash could feel the tension return into his shoulders. “I don’t know what I’m thinking anymore.” Eiji lifted his head in a jerk. “But, please,” he begged. “I can’t be alone again.”

Ash smiled down at him. “I can’t either.” ” Eiji replied in a laugh restrained by a weary smile. Eiji dropped his head back on Ash’s shoulder, and Ash could count his breaths. “We’re both idiots,” he exclaimed, the lightheartedness of his tone felt like sunshine. “You know that right?”

“Of course I do you dumb American,“ Eiji replied in a laugh restrained by a weary smile.

“Sloppy Japanese,” Ash muttered. Eiji pulled away after a glance at the room, still filled with people, but still gifted a serene smile to Ash. 

The moment was broken in an instant when Ash noticed the phone aimed directly at them and the smugness littered across Max’s face. 

“I swear, one day you will pay for being the human embodiment of a nightmare Max,” Ash threatened with a calculated glare. Max only laughed and shoved the phone back in his pocket. Ibe smirked slightly but still shied away when Eiji met his eyes. 

“The exhibit is going to be closing in a few minutes, we could all go out for dinner after Eiji finishes here?” Jessica offered.

The rest of the group nodded and turned towards Eiji awaiting command. “Oh,” he exclaimed after seeing the attention on him, “I can leave now.” Max led the others in a turn of their heels toward the exit, while Ash spared one more glance at the collage of photos on the wall. He regretted not asking to see Eiji’s work before. 

He shared a glance with Eiji and the two turned to leave when Eiji’s phone went off in a harsh vibration. Eiji grabbed it, flicking off the sound. Ash watched as his face grew visibly paler.

“Mom?”


	2. Movement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovely readers! A little warning before this chapter continues, it does mention parental abuse/toxicity. It's more indirect, but your safety is important. 
> 
> Thank you as always to everyone who reads, kudos, and comments. You make my day.

“What the hell did you do?” a voice bellowed from the hallway. Loud footsteps accompanied the clatter of the door as Sing stood with hands donned on his hips in the center of the room, a faint rise in his chest after leaping the stairs two at a time. It wasn’t an unsurprising entrance by the kid, but still not one received with open arms, especially given the circumstances. A countrywide treaty and deal between major powers. The morality was definitely in question, but the looming threats of the arsenal of nuclear weapons and military employments were enough to keep it at least civil. Continuous flights to ever-growing reclusive meeting places were more taxing than the actual discussions. 

“What are you talking about Sing?” Yut Lung answered, documents still in hand, and the polite mask fading. He undid the clip at the back of his head and watched as wisps of hair fell down. The thing was too expensive for its own good. The craftsmanship fell through the same cracks as the jewels adorning the surface. As much as Yut Lung hated the ensemble he placed together before each deliberation, it was a good ruse to the other men seated around the table. 

Sing seemed to be one of the few unaffected and took the liberty of handing his phone over. Unreliable documents with handwritten scripts of various neatness went on for pages all detailed one thing. The status of Ash Lynx. Lists of seen locations, and even tried and failed testimonials from his gang littered the margins. 

Yut Lung scrolled for a few seconds. He never understood the frivolity these characters seemed to equate with violence. For a group tied down by time limits, they went into graphic detail of every instance of the lynx’s encounters. While the majority, Yut Lung had already known or could have assumed, the pages of weaknesses and analysis on fighting styles were intriguing. Whoever made these had a vendetta far extending upon capture. “And what makes you think I did something?” He finally answered, handing the phone back to Sing, who took it hastily and shoved it into his bomber’s pockets. 

“I don’t know,” Sing started, sarcasm dripping from each step he took back and forth. He’d tried to tell Sing so many times the danger of staying still and dormant- at least his advice was taken, condescending or not. “Your disdain of him,” he started with a glare, “the vague threats, your weird encounter with Eiji that you still refuse to explain… the list goes on and on,” he explained with a loose rolling of his hand. 

Yut Lung felt a chuckle escaping him, if he wasn’t aware of his own innocence he would have convicted himself in a heartbeat. Sing’s frown deepened at the display. Yut Lung wasn’t entirely sure why the soft and not quite suitable laughter was his first response, it never did anything anyway. But it was an answer enough for the silence, and enough time to gauge Sing’s reaction. 

“I can assure you I had no part in this.”

Sing scoffed and shook his head at the ground. “How am I supposed to trust you?”

“You can’t,” Yut Lung answered simply. He’d given the same answer each time Sing asked. He thought he would grow accustomed to the question, but he could feel the exhaustion settle in a little further each time he answered. “I don’t know why you wasted your breath on such a painfully obvious question.”

Sing seemed genuinely shocked by the response, but the moment he processed the dismissal pounds were laced in the air in hurried stitches. 

“I mean you’re the only one who Eiji hasn’t shunned, maybe you manage to have some influence,” he paused before adding a much softer, “as always.”

Yut Lung placed the documents on a side table. He would have more pressing matters tonight anyway. Sing kept his eyes glued on him for the entirety of the time. He swore the kid never blinked for anything other than blatant displays of embarrassment. “Getting desperate I see.”

“Unlike you I try to help my friends,” Sing retorted instantly. It must have not been an answer to the question, just an accusation held on the tip of his tongue for the first opportunity. Yut Lung hated the implications of ‘friends.’ Maybe it was the antagonistic beliefs of everyone who ever controlled him or his own poisoning, but friends implies a deliberate action to grow closer. He was grateful that Sing could get close, but if the only reward was a constant worry, then Yut Lung would stay in power. Power was tainted by each instance of explicit worry, and without his power what could he do?

“Wait, no response?” Sing prodded. A part of him seemed to be genuinely worried but was overshadowed by the disinterested way each piece of paper on Yut Lung’s desk fell in rhythm by Sing’s own hands. 

“What was your intent of coming here?” Yut Lung raised an eyebrow, savoring the tension it caused, the same way the tongue danced on alcohol even if the poison would erode until nothing was left. “Even if I had done something like you so clearly expected confronting me wouldn’t have changed anything.” He raised a hand dragging it across his neck and ending with a finger resting behind his ear. “If I was set on my plans I could have killed you or used you for information. You aren’t smart by any means,” Sing gaped but shut his mouth just as quickly. “ _ But _ you’re not an idiot. So why are you here?”

“You could keep Ash and Eiji safe.” Sing smiled at the names before it twisted. Yut Lung wasn’t entirely sure what it transformed to. He doubted Sing had any better perception. “I can’t,” Sing admitted with increasingly paler clenched knuckles. “I thought you’d help.”

“I have nothing to gain by helping them. Whoever placed that target would shift to me in an instant.” 

“So you’re just gonna let it happen?” Sing spat, the plans of the illusive third party crossing his mind. Yut Lung had to admit they were concerningly specific. Contingency plans upon contingency plans were listed, and in-depth- albeit redacted - files of those involved fit in with the plans to perfection. 

“Whatever happens will happen, why worry myself with the logistics if they’re out of my control?”

Sing gave one last disappointed look, and Yut Lung returned it with a glare to match. 

“Fuck you Yut Lung,” Sing said with none of the harshness expected. The softness cut deeper. “I don’t know why I ever bothered.”

The door closed as he left, and Yut Lung let an anxiety-ridden breath out as he rested his temple in his palms. In a singular motion, he pushed his hands up and through his hair before grabbing the phone that sat to his left. He spun the wheel, with one hand, and tapped the other against the table feeling the slight recoil and pushing it to its extremes. The phone rang for a few beats before the end crackled like lightning.

“Hello Blanca, I have a final request.” 

The hum of acknowledgment allowed Yut Lung to relax slightly, but his eyes still instinctively went for the now empty wine glass behind him. 

He wouldn’t worry himself with the logistics, there will be no trace of any of the plans to worry about as long as Blanca followed suit. 

  * -



“Mom, why are you calling?” Eiji breathed out, hand fluttering nervously at his side, with the mental image of the ‘end call’ button in his mind. Ash stood solemn and calculatingly at his side, before ushering Eiji to a hallway still throwing dangerous glances at the other people in the exhibit. 

“You couldn’t have believed I didn’t hear,” she started. It was just enough to hitch Eiji’s breathing and cause his shoulders to concave. 

“Please, let me call you back tonight,” he whispered, trying to drag the syllables through the way his voice cracked. Ash’s eyes were daggered pierced on the phone. Even if the conversation was in a language he couldn’t understand, Eiji shared his reactions with the expectation that he would miraculously learn. 

“You don’t get to avoid me,” she stated. “You don’t deserve that after what you did. Do you have any idea how much it hurt?”

Eiji spared another glance at Ash and recalled the countless nightmares showcasing Ash’s supposed death in high definition, the fear that became embedded in his veins when he watched Ash on those train tracks, every moment he constructed the perfect words to say in case they were his last, and still emotion-filled enough that Ash would live to make sure they weren’t. Eiji swallowed, but the lump in his throat only gained territory. 

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, please. I’m sorry Mom.”

She seemed to sense his desperate attempts to avoid the conversation and spoke with conviction laced with accusations. “I deserve to talk to you. I’ll be there tomorrow morning. I supported you and let you go off on your own and this is what happened.”

Something about her tone set off alarms in Eiji. The ‘what’ of her final sentence sounded like a declaration of war spoken to something outside of the call. “What do you mean?” Eiji asked hesitantly. 

“Kumi told me,” she stated. Eiji pushed away the feelings of betrayal. Kumi had no means to run away from the conversation of her own, or anyone there to protect her. That had been his job, and Kumi had no obligation to return it. He remembered the way his note laid shoved in her bag when she visited the hospital. 

“What did she say?” He asked.

“That those people from America are there,” she replied. Eiji could hear the interference as she twisted the phone cable around her finger. “Your safety is my first priority, let me be there to protect you this once.” 

Lies. They were complete lies. He remembered the days he was forbidden from eating, the constant isolation, and the control she seemed to work into every step he took, and yet he still felt the desire to trust her. Her kindness and whatever semblance of normality he could have had was a siren’s song, and he had already walked into the ocean. Maybe it was luck that pulled him out, or maybe it was only an island. 

“I swear it’s not what you think,” he pleaded. “They’re good people.” Max drove with the fear of an even farther divide to see his son. Sing risked his safety to keep him safe. Shorter saved them countless times. The people he had known for two years were stronger than family. Blood spoiled and rotted. It was a commodity passed around in hospitals. Eiji didn’t know what connection they had, but whatever it wasn’t subjected to the elements and the binding of traditions.

“Good people wouldn’t let you get shot,” she snapped. Eiji felt a prick at his scar. “And I did some reading,” she added, drawing it out in almost a singsong. A cry of the validation for her argument. “On the boy named Ash Lynx. Kumi mentioned him. Why didn’t you trust me enough? I could have gotten you out of America sooner. Whatever they did to you to make you like,” she paused, dripping panic into her tone, while the phone was still held with alluring hands, “ _ this.  _ I could have protected you.”

“There was nothing you could have done.”

Eiji knew she would have died the moment she tried to play fate with the danger. She would beg for a challenge from Dino, lock eyes with every enemy they faced, and she would have been another casualty. 

“How could you know that Eiji,” she questioned, allowing no room for a response, “because it seems to me like you let this happen. I can’t see how you would hurt Kumi and I like this and think you’re fine on your own.” She paused and clicked her tongue. “Your father would be so disappointed to see you now.”

Eiji bit back the wave that the mention brought him, and whispered in one last far cry. “Please, mom.”

“He fought when he was sick, to  _ live _ , and you were ready to throw it away, but I can help you. I know you’re strong.” God Eiji wished she was honest. “I fought to take care of you, and I can keep fighting for you, but those people changed you Eiji.” Whatever bond he was missing with his own family, with his old life, was replaced by Ash and his teasing smiles. 

“You need me…”

_ I need him _ .

“Look what happened when I wasn’t there.”

_ Look what happened when you were. _

“I know I made a mistake,” was the only thing he was able to mutter. The accusations were pushed back further each time she spoke. “But these people can help me.”

“A murderer can do  _ nothing _ for you but tear you down and get you hurt.”

“Don’t say that about him!” The strings that tied his words backs were released in an instant, and the panic that filled his lungs morphed into adrenaline. His eyes narrowed, and he opened his mouth to say more when she continued. 

“I am trying to help. I could have given up long ago, so don’t let that go to waste. I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that, she hung up. Shakingly Eiji put the phone away, the time elapsed on the call felt too short to be accurate. 

“Fuck,” he muttered, feeling the panic return as fast as it had left. Though left wasn’t quite accurate. As fast as it had been overwhelmed. 

“Eiji what happened?” Ash asked, standing at his side, but clearly eyeing the space between them and maintaining the boundary. 

“She’s going to do something-I don’t know what, but there's no way she wouldn’t.” The sentence melded together and Ash gave him a knowing look and modeled his own breathing. Eiji latched on to it, but the feeling only subdued a little. 

“She can’t make you do anything,” Ash consoled. Even if he looked lost on what was happening, he spoke with perfect certainty. 

“I- wait.” Eiji felt the realization dawn on him. “Fuck,” he exclaimed again, gripping onto the sides of his arms. 

“Eiji, breathe, it’ll be okay.” Eiji looked up and felt a pang of guilt at the concern littered in Ash’s eyes. “Talk to me.”

“It’s nothing,” Eiji dismissed, closing his eyes for a moment and forcing each breath until it returned to a normal rhythm. “It’s like you said, she can’t make me do anything.”

“Eiji…”

Eiji shook his head and painted a smile for Ash’s sake. “Max is probably waiting for us, we should go.” Ash wasn’t convinced, but after Eiji walked towards the exit, Ash followed putting the pieces together and formulating a plan. 

The only thing Eiji could think of though was the danger that this could put them in. Eiji didn’t doubt that his mother’s first instinct would be to drag Ash away. There were more than enough opportunities for it to happen, and no matter what happened Ash would be put in even more danger. If the world knew Ash was alive, would he stay that way?

  * -



“What do you mean you can’t come?” Yut Lung spat. He was grateful for the subtle action earlier to download the files Sing showed him, but now the constant barrage of the power this group had put him on edge. Even when- or if- the matter of the identity of the group was solved, there was no telling if Blanca could even take them out. At that point, they were resolving themselves to death. The absolute dismissal from Blanca though was enough to send him over. He barked orders at the staff in the room over to leave.

Blanca sighed from the other end. “You know just as well as I do of the growing tension.” Yut Lung snorted at the understatement. “Just because I’m respected in this industry doesn’t mean I’m liked. Any news of my travel and involvement with this situation would only endanger you more.”

“You left me to go protect him,” Yut Lung sneered, “and yet you won’t even try to save your dear Ash?” 

“If I had the option you know I would,” Blanca stated. The sound of running water muted his voice. Yut Lung was about to say something when he heard the footsteps pacing outside the door. The water ran for a few more seconds before the person left. “From your assumptions,” Blanca started again quieter. “I would prefer to be there as well, I’m sure you could use the assistance.”

“Ash would listen to you, how am I even supposed to warn him?” He almost scoffed at Blanca’s assumption that he would be more involved than this. If he went down, the whole of the territory his family had claimed would fall into chaos. If the attack was successful against Ash then it wouldn’t create any more change- the man was already legally dead as it is. 

“You mentioned your meeting with the Japanese boy, correct?” Blanca asked knowingly. “Why not just contact him?”

Yut Lung closed the files on the computer, and powered it off, closing the lid tiredly. “Even if I did, and Ash somehow believed me, he’s out of touch in Japan. His gangs practically dissolved, not to mention across the world, it’s an unknown city to him, and most of his escapes were out of blind luck.” ‘He doesn’t stand a chance’ was left unspoken. 

Blanca seemed to consider it for a moment as the end went silent. Yut Lung occupied himself relentlessly tapping against the desk. The wood had already been scratched and beaten enough to display land maps in the warping. Blanca cleared his voice slightly, causing Yut Lung’s eyes to point ahead even if the voice remained disembodied. “You have a great amount of power at your disposal. You’ve operated under your brother's name long enough that your actions could easily be pinned on them, and their subsequent death as a result.”

“That’s gray territory even for you Blanca.”

He would be lying if he hadn’t considered the advantage those accusations would cause. The political advantage alone of undermining a failure made the most sense, even if Yut Lung never expected Blanca to sink to his level. 

“Every action has a consequence,” Blanca said almost nonchalantly. Yut Lung could almost imagine the obvious shrug he was giving on his end. “I just happen to live by the mantra that they don’t affect the dead.”

It was for his own advantage he reminded himself, although the memory of Sing’s disappointment, the compassion of someone who would be perfectly justified to stick a knife in his throat, and the beaten and injured body of Ash hanging in Dino’s execution room played on repeat. Even if the decision to be involved would be the death of him, he would have gone out in the shadow of nobility, and by someone who hadn’t tied marionette strings to his hands. Yut Lung let his shoulders slip down in resignation. 

“One more thing before you go.”

“Mhm?” came the reply.

“Why are you trusting me?” Yut Lung asked. As much as he faked apathy, Sing's question felt final. “I fought against Ash before, and was specifically chosen by my brother for a mission to double-cross him.” Ash had picked out the guise before, but Blanca would know what permanent actions Yut Lung could make. It made him wonder if any of his motivations were ever his own, or just the rebelling of each role and new mask layered and layered with luxury that he had been handed with a gun against his head. 

“I’d like to think I know you well enough,” Blanca explained wholeheartedly, and clear enough through the distance that it was almost icy in tone. “Everyone who’s ever used you is dead. It doesn’t erase your actions, but it does mark the path for you to make amends. There’s no one to perform for, only an audience.”

“Thank you Blanca,” he said with a smile. “Best of luck with your own ventures.”

“I’ll be watching Mr. Lee.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yut Lung might be becoming my favorite character to write--- oops


	3. Flying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A first encounter with a new threat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I UPDATED. I AM SORRY. But a new chapter is here, with my attempt at action and not just misunderstandings. 
> 
> Tw: for violence, guns, you know the average banana fish stuff=
> 
> I swear we will meet Eiji's mom next chapter, I like dragging stuff out as an attempt to get some semblance of a backstory for her thought of

'Get down!' Was the first thing Eiji could hear after the buzzing subsided. Ash’s voice carried by urgency alone through the restaurant, and by the time it reached Eiji it had already merged with the sounds of shattering glass. Funny how the only thing left standing from their meal was his own water cup, slowly teetering, and clutching to the sides of the glass. Eiji always loved the way water dulled the senses- enough in your vision and light refracted, enough around you and the world was drowned out, enough and your skin would curl and freeze. He wished the volley of gunshots could create the same sensation. Even with the same results- the specs of light bouncing off the cartridges, the ringing in his ears, and the chill along his neck- there was something so mechanical about it. Hail storms still found a way to be majestic even if the ice grew between cracks of the strongest buildings and found a way to bend metal at its will. Lightning cast highlights and cuts the chains holding it to the clouds. Eiji was never scared of the storms. Never scared of water surrounding him, but the way the walls rumbled as footsteps swarmed the building, and bullets grazed the air. Maybe it wasn’t just the sound of bullets that made them deafening, if you cut the carrier there’s nothing to fill it but your own breathing. 

Ash slid beside him, a wild glint fighting to be released in his eyes. Eiji looked at Ash and then back at his own unmoving hands and wondered why he wasn’t tense. Ash had grabbed the world from Atlas and held it aloft with bullets to its core and winced at the debris. And yet, Eiji was unphased by the assault of sounds and panicked screams seeing that Ash was there. A table was thrown on the ground, and the two crouched behind it. Max and Ibe were across from them, and Jessica tended to a stranger's wounds with hushed whispers and pleas for help only manifested into glances at their attackers. Eiji spared a look over his shoulders. A woman stood with two men each donning machine guns strapped across their chests like metals. The woman had her own small pistol, but it rested easily against her leg, and her finger fiddled with the trigger. The glass door behind them was caved in, the small logo of the restaurant a jumbled mess of paint strokes and dust. Eiji didn’t know who was shot with the first round, but he had a sinking suspicion it was their waiter. Their hair was dyed a deep blue, the ends muted and gray, and a texture thin enough that the light still managed to shine despite the treatment. Eiji wondered if the drops of water he saw were in fact water. 

“Who is that?” Max stage whispered. His eyes lit up when he eyed the steak knife just out of reach. And Ibe clutched at the bottom of his shirt as Max crawled over to grab it. 

“Not a friend,” Ash muttered, slinging his head back and eyeing the woman, although he looked confused at her identity. She ordered the two men to search, and they dutifully turned tables over, and grabbed at each citizen with tears and fear building in their eyes, before throwing them to the side and moving on. Jessica tightened the last stretch of made-shift bandages on the man, and urged him to the side door, before giving the same forceful gestures at the door with eyes locked with her husband. 

Unfortunately, before they could make their escape, the woman began to glide around the room. “You thought you could hide forever,” she projected, sparing glances to each corner of the building before focusing on a body sprawled out in front of her. “Turns out even beasts die.” The two men had returned to her side, and one gave signals through the caved-in area of the door. Eiji could see a truck with the black paint chipping off, and tinted windows slightly agape. The doors flung open and a myriad of people all carrying the same weapons and subtle bullet-proof vests. One of the chefs clutched her phone to her ear and whispered the address to the police, but the woman reached and plucked her up by her chin. The waiter's eyes looked at Eiji pleadingly. Their assailant kept a calculating glare as she snapped the phone in her hand before dropping it on the ground. The waiter fell with a groan and crawled away. A few specks of blood littered the floor and traced the path as the woman made her way back to her guards. 

The restaurant was made up of three separate areas- the first composed of mainly the hostess stations, and the cash register, the second surrounded by a bar, and the third; the main dining hall. Luckily they managed to sit in the third area and were distant enough that Max led them to the back of the building without detection. Eiji could practically feel the footsteps of the men walking across the building, and Ash’s eyes were glued on the alleyways around them. Ibe panted against the brick wall, one hand mindlessly moving in circles to the point where debris fell and hit the light. 

It took a moment for them to realize that the exit led to a dead end. Two of the other customers hid behind various items left in the alley. 

“How did they find out?” Ash cursed to himself. 

“I don’t know,” Eiji stated in monotony, before flicking his head back at Ash. “But if you leave now you can get far enough away and be safe.” Ash scoffed and looked at the expanse of a wall in front of them. He shared a quick glance with Eiji, and with a shared grin, Eiji went to work pulling a pipe off the side of the restaurant. It wasn’t nearly as rusted as the one before, and Ash placed his hands above Eiji’s. It finally came loose, and Eiji inhaled and examined the wall. Maybe fifteen feet, he’d done taller, but it had been years. Ash managed to procure a rope and stood to the side. Max eyed them curiously, but maybe it was the confidence that suddenly erupted in both Ash and Eiji that turned him away. 

“I’ve never run from a fight before,” Ash mused as Eiji dug a small hole a foot or two from the wall. “At least without fighting first.” Eiji could feel his legs clench in that uncomfortable tightness that should come after overuse. If it was nerves or a warning to stop, Eiji swallowed, and rested the pole in the hole, pressing his palm down and internalizing the flexibility of the rod. Ash gave another glance behind him, before giving a final assertive nod.

“You were supposed to be safe here,” Eiji said with a shake of his head and the gentle padding of his feet as he walked backward. The sun spread across his face in a warm display of light. The sunset felt too picturesque. The world felt too picturesque like the bullets were just stage cues, and they all danced to the planned choreography. 

“Safety’s overrated,” Ash huffed. Eiji let his head dip with the infused confidence that Ash gave him with a final glance, and stared at his shadow spreading beneath him. 

Theoretically, this feat should be easier- the overall distance was shorter, no landing to stick, all he had to do was get high enough to grab the ledge of the wall and pull himself up. Ash would throw the rope, and yet somehow scale the wall without it, and be at his side when Max urged Jessica to go first. They would bicker, and finally, Jessica would puff out some bit about them dying, and they wouldn’t respond in any way that couldn’t be printed on their faces. 

It made Eiji wonder- did Ash love the thrill of danger or the dissociation from every detail?

Eiji took a running start and felt the immediate warmth of his muscles, and the coolness as his ankle flexed and he lifted off the air. People talked about phantom pains like they were a checkmark to reach. A completion and then it was over. It was strange how he felt the fracture in his normal life, and now doing the exact same movement that had caused it, it felt whole again.

Eiji loved flying.

Except this wasn’t flying. His back arched and the pole bent, and the sun shone on him, and he was off the ground, but he wasn’t flying. Then he saw the face of wonder that Ash made for a split-second. He looked impressed?- no not impressed. Eiji never quite learned how to categorize Ash’s expressions. He could read them, but the words only fit in the context of images and sensations. He would photograph each comparison if he could, and maybe then Ash would know just how beautiful and untainted he was. He hoped Ash could see the smile plastered across his face, as Eiji’s hands connected and gripped onto the brick. The skin scraped, and his legs felt like they were being dragged down, but he pulled himself up in one motion and held his hands open. Ash responded by tossing the rope, and Eiji tugged it with a confident and teasing flick, before wrapping it around his wrist and nodding. They all gestured for Jessica to go- as expected- but she shoved Max in front and stared daggers at him when he tried to leave the arrangement. 

Max climbed, and in a few seconds, he made it to the top and with a final nudge from Jessica scrambled down the other side. A dumpster sat beneath the wall, and was an adequate enough mat, albeit not quiet. Jessica was next, and soon she joined her husband at the end. Ibe needed more assistance, and Eiji could feel the beginnings of rope burn clutch at his palms. 

“Oi, Ash, come on,” Max shouted from over the wall, after catching Ibe mid-fall, and lowering him to the ground. Ash turned away and took a step toward the building. 

Eiji didn’t know why he was still surprised. Ash would always refuse to not be the inciting incident. Eiji could see the plethora of black vests growing closer. The higher vantage point meant he would be the first shot if he waited any longer. Ash knew it.

“Go Eiji,” he hissed. “I’ll be right behind you.”

It should have sounded like a promise, but the only thing Eiji could hear was a goodbye. The backdoor they had all escaped through pushed open slowly, the hinges scraping, and the sound of heels overpowering them. The woman revealed herself with flowing brown hair tied up in a bun, where Eiji could practically feel the tension created by the white band around the nape of her neck. She tossed her head over to Eiji, and his hands itched with the urge to jump to safety below. In a second a gun was aimed directly at his head, at an angle where Eiji could only see the cavern holding the bullet. Ash straightened in an instant, hands looming concerningly at his pockets. 

“Surrender,” she said. The rest of her men came from the sides and formed in rows with guns poised. “Or a bullet goes in the kids head.” Eiji gulped and yet the tension that normally loomed in his throat was gone. He always hated statues. He admired the art and highlights the form created, but the pedestals felt violent. How many hands had it taken to smooth the surface? How many feats of power had it taken for it to be embedded in history. Their stillness said too many volumes for actions that the public knew couldn’t be reenacted. 

Even if he could see the path the bullet would take, the familiar pain of the gunshot, Eiji refused to be a statue- still, unmoving, and an image to take in. He’d seen the way Ash's hands rolled over the piercing in his ear like it was a price tag. He saw the one way his wrists bled chafed by ropes. 

The pipe laid a foot below his feet, leaning precariously on the wall. Eiji took a breath and grabbed it, hurling it down at the onslaught of soldiers to his left before sprinting the opposite direction across the wall. Ash saw and followed in the same direction before turning the corner around the building. The woman shouted something and warning shots followed Eiji’s trail. Two missed entirely, but the third grazed his shoulder, and he could see the gun aimed at both sides of him. The trigger was pulled without hesitation, and Eiji jumped to the ground, gasping as his legs buckled beneath him. Ash's hands gripped onto his wrist and pulled him into the momentary cover. 

“For your own safety it would have been so much easier to just surrender.” The woman walked forward, and Eiji could see the rest of her force coming from the other direction. Ash pulled them both into a small alcove of the building and tested his footing on the brick walls. He cursed as he slipped down. A metal door was all that separated them from their assailants, and even with the material stretched in front of them, they were still exposed to the sky and remaining rays of sunlight. “It  _ was _ just me,” she continued, growing ever near “but who knows how many people know by now.”

“Eiji,” Ash whispered into his ear. The space was tight, and Ash’s hand laid constricted against his shoulder. “It’ll be okay, but you need to get out of here.”

‘Ash looks so resigned,’ Eiji thought. The tension in his jaw was gone, and his hands looked formed into their position of surrender. Eiji wondered if this is how he had looked in the library. The thought alone twisted the soft smile Ash gave him. Eiji’s hand connected to Ash’s face with a loud slap and Ash gaped for a moment, the smile falling as he did. 

“Stop,” Eiji cursed, head snapping up. The familiar jade eyes greeted him and Eiji wished he could be lost in them for a second more, but he forced himself to look away. “We are both getting out of this together,” he declared, leaving no room for argument. He could see the rebuttal etched into Ash’s lips, but he held them closed with a stare. “You are not a leopard and I am not a fucking bird. No more zoos, no more enclosures.” Eiji reached out and grabbed Ash’s hands in his own, squeezing once, and relishing the way Ash’s hands melted at the touch. “We are Aslan and Eiji, and we will be happy for once.” 

The latch to the door was already nestled in Ash’s hands when the footsteps outside stopped. 

Ash pressed his ear to the door, and his eyebrows furrowed at the sudden silence. In a second it was filled by the sounds of propellers and panicked orders. Eiji glanced up to see a helicopter hovering above them, and few black lines of what Eiji could only assume were guns lowered and firing onto the ground. A ladder fell, the rungs twisting in the wind until it finally reached the small space next to them. Ash gave a hesitant look before gripping the ladder and reaching his hand out for Eiji. A few steps higher and they could see the remains of the attacker force. Guns were left scattered on the ground, a few bodies hunched on the floor, and the vehicles they had driven in scurried down the road. The woman stood outside the last truck to leave and with a final glare at both of them, flung her leg over the bed of the truck and was carried off. 

The guns were pulled back into the main body of the helicopter, and it flew a few feet higher twisting as it did toward the east. 

Eiji smiled at the insignia of the Lee clan printed in white on the metal. Ash noticed it and scowled, but after a nod of trust from Eiji, the two climbed until they reached the main ledge. 

Yut Lung sat in a seat directly facing them, and several other men disassembled their weapons on the floor. Ash lifted himself up with a grunt, before helping Eiji stand. The door slid closed behind them and their ears buzzed with the sound of wind and the weight of their altitude. 

“It appears you have a new enemy,” Yut Lung declared, signaling to the pilot to move ahead. The orders were followed immediately and they reached the area just beyond the wall where the ladder was dropped again to an unsuspecting Max, Jessica, and Ibe. 

“If I’m correct your mother is coming to Japan tomorrow?” he continued. “If so we might just have a good lead on who exactly these people are.”


	4. Ledges and Cliffsides

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween everybody! New chapter time! It's taking me so long to write these, and I'm sorry. I really didn't expect to go on with this series... much less be close to 50,000 words, so the actual plot is taking a bit of time, lol

“If I’m correct your mother is coming to Japan tomorrow?” Yut Lung inquired, although he continued as if the answer was written on cue cards behind him. “If so we might just have a good lead on who exactly these people are.”

  * **-**



“You have to realize it by now,” Yut Lung started. The gaze of everyone in the vehicle seemed to be trained on Eiji. “Ash,” Yut Lung addressed pulling him away for a second, “you got sent to prison for the same reasons.” Ash flinched at the reminder of the prison, but Yung Lung only responded with a suggestive glance. “It doesn't matter if you killed the main man, his minions have infected every system. You can’t just call the police, and  _ not _ expect news of his current condition to spread to unsavory forces.” Eiji remembered when he first walked into the police station. He’d be enamored with the Hollywood glow the buildings seemed to radiate. Whatever intrigue and fascination he had with them vanished the moment he heard Ash was going to jail. America repeated the mantra of ‘innocent until proven guilty,’ and yet Ash was shoved into a truck and taken the same day. 

“She called,” Eiji gaped, feeling the twist of his throat once more. “That’s how they found out,” an afterthought for the rest of their party to understand. His mom didn’t hesitate to call at the slightest sign of trouble. It wasn’t even him who got the call to return home. His mother had somehow gotten into connection with Charlie and Jenkins. It wouldn’t have mattered if Ash left then either, the mafia still would get encrypted messages of each call history. Eiji remembered each time the speed dial on the police was used as leverage for his confinement in the house. Each time it was just another message delivered too late and another lock placed around him. 

“Hey, she didn’t know. It’s not her fault,” Ash said feigning reassurance. 

Eiji snapped his head to meet Ash. “I don’t care if she didn’t know,” he enunciated. “It doesn’t matter. You could have died,  _ again _ .” Ash had a way of brandishing his scars without movement. In the way his stance became more calculating, Eiji could envision each gunshot and knife wound he’d obtained and watching Ash standing there breathing and strong had always been enough to prove he was okay. Teetering on the edge of survival is what earned him his respect, but Eiji desperately wanted to scream that Ash wasn’t just a gang leader, especially not to him. 

“We’ll deal with it,” Ash finally declared after a short pause. Eiji could hear Yut Lung snort from his seat. 

“I don’t want to have to deal with it Ash,” Eiji begged, shooting unhelpful glances at Yut Lung who placed his hands up in mock surrender before becoming stoic. “I don’t want to be scared that you died again. Don’t you deserve to not be hunted?”  _ Don’t we deserve to be free? _

Ash sighed, lowering his voice at the stares of Max. “Of course I do Eiji, but not wanting something doesn’t do  _ shit _ .” He inhaled and added bitterness to his words. “I didn’t want any of this life, but  _ I _ ,” he spat the subject before continuing, “still have to live it.” He seemed to realize the unconscious tone at the same time Eiji could fully react. He may not have had it as bad as Ash, he doubted many could. It wasn’t even the undertone of dismissal that Ash seemed to wield like a sword, that made Eiji’s face turn. A part of Eiji wanted to let Ash suffer alone and hope that a part of him would miss it, but the other part of him whispered that Ash would never come back.”

“I’m sorry,” Eiji whispered. “I know I put you in danger. I know you get the fallout.”

Ash shook his head lightly, with a smile painted on. He raised Eiji’s head with one finger placed under his chin. “No, Eiji. Don’t say that. I’d be so much worse off without you.”

“Lying to him about something he already knows isn’t going to do anything,” Yut Lung exclaimed, breaking the previous conversation. Eiji moved his head and stepped back to the side. “He knows you're lying, and he knows he’ll be pushed to the side again.”

“You know I made a promise that I’d put a knife to your throat the next time I saw you,” Ash recalled marching dangerously towards Yut Lung's seat. “You aren’t doing much to delay that fate.” Eiji could practically feel the loss at his side and watched as the other attendants on the helicopter stood on edge. 

Eiji grabbed his arm and pulled it back before letting his own fall at his side. “He saved us Ash!”

“Don’t worry,” Yut Lung consoled. He waved off whatever men he’d brought with him and they dutifully marched to a different compartment. Most of them walked without hesitation, but a few glanced back concerningly and didn’t sheathe their weapons. “I’m not on your side. I still despise you and know the feelings are mutual. But I have certain obligations I must uphold and you have to be alive for it to happen.”

“You wanna stay in good graces with Sing. Is that it?” 

“He has no idea I did this, in fact he suspects I’m in charge of the attack,” Yut Lung retorted, although his face fell in the second half. Sing had been a topic of their conversations that night. Yut Lung and Sing were much closer than Eiji originally thought. Sing spoke of the two’s interactions as if one wrong word would send the universe out of balance, and yet Eiji could still see the way that they both spoke in high regard for each other. 

Ash glared before crossing his arms in front of him. “I still haven’t ruled out that you aren’t.”

“I suppose that’s fair.”

Ibe coughed and stepped forward after a glance from both Ash and Yut Lung. Eiji was the only one who looked away. Their reconciliation dinner was cut short, and even if they had been uninterrupted by machine guns and panicked screams Eiji doubted anything would have changed. “Do we not get a say on this?” Ibe placed a hand on his chest. “You paralized and poisoned me. You have men with guns who could kill us in a second. We need proof that you’re actually on our side.” Max and Jessica nodded along with each declaration although all three of them still look rattled. 

“Guys please,” Eiji mediated “the things he did in the past was because he was being controlled.” 

“We were all being controlled, Eiji,” Ash taunted, eyes fixed on Yut Lung, “and he was complicit.”

Eiji waited a moment and observed the unchanging expression of Yut Lung. If Eiji didn’t know better he would have guessed the man was bored. He had a way of teetering on the edge of outbursts and not showing the inches left before attacks. Maybe the animal metaphors had something to them. Both dehumanizing and a character study written in coded language. Although the man switched masks like playing cards tossed on a table, his own analogies to snakes never quite fit in Eiji’s mind. Eiji had been raised on stories of fantastic dragons with typhoons tossed at their slightest will and told that they were a higher power to the snakes they resembled and originated from. The Lee clan emblem struck discord into even the subtexts. “Are you not even going to defend yourself Yut?” Eiji finally asked. 

“Nicknames? Really, Eiji?” Ash scoffed. 

“Oh I’m sorry  _ Aslan _ for wanting to get rid of this threat as quickly as possible.”

“Speed won’t mean shit if he kills us all.” Another finger lingered pointed at Yut Lung.

“He’s not going to kill you,” Eiji said halfway in disbelief and a request for confirmation. Yut Lung let a sigh escape his lips, and Eiji took it as confirmation enough to face away from Ash. 

“Eiji,” he started. “Don’t fight on my behalf.” He shook his head before adding simply: “I don’t want it. It’s not going to change his mind, and I never wanted it to.” Ash seemed to soften at the dropped attempts at manipulation. Even when the cruelest of declarations had been issued, the directness of them seemed to provide Ash a sense of clarity. “When we destroy this organization you can put a bullet in my head if it soothes your soul, but at least wait until you and your boyfriend are safe before doing it.”

“He-” Ash started with an almost panicked glance towards Eiji.

“No need to respond,” Yut Lung mediated, lifting up the plastic blind over a small window next to his seat, “we’re about to land. I doubt you’ll want to stay in this building, but I assume your attackers already know where the crummy hotel you’ve been staying at is located. Feel free to stay if you're so inclined.”

Eiji beamed at the declaration and ran to the window to see the expanse of red tiles and gated gardens below them. The walkways were completely clear, and dots of different varieties of trees lined them. The pilot circled a small expanse behind the main building before descending. The lines of leaves billowed with the force of the propellers and Eiji gaped at the synchronized movement. A few leaves fell and lined the path. Eiji almost picked one up when he saw the disdainful expression on Ash’s face. Only Jessica seemed remotely relieved for the new accommodations.

Yut Lung stepped out after him, barking quick orders as the rest of the men exited the helicopter and diverted towards separate buildings. The pilot stayed behind and began a descent again after everyone else had stepped off. Eiji looked for a sign of directions and dutifully followed as Yut Lung walked to a small add-on to the main building. 

“Are we really trusting him?” Max whispered from behind him. Eiji kept walking and glancing around even if his eyes narrowed at the barely audible conversation. 

“Of course not,” Ash responded. “But, if Eiji does I won’t act first.” Eiji sighed relieved under his breath. Of course, he didn’t fully trust Yut Lung either, but the blocks in his own comfort weren’t clean. Maybe it was just his own mind taunting him with ideas of betrayal or logical analysis. Either way, the gardens were beautiful enough to warrant the situation regardless. If only he had brought his camera. 

  * \- 



They pushed open the doors and were led around a table already filled with documents. Ash stayed stationed closest to the exit and immediately grabbed a file closest to him. Everyone else looked for an explanation. Yut Lung stared for a moment as if adjusting to his own leverage and leadership. 

“This is the information I’ve gathered,” he explained, tossing a folder with heavy ink notes scribbled on the surface to Eiji’s side. “Most of it you’d already know of course, considering it’s mostly personal files on you, but I suppose the limits of what they do know could establish something.” 

Eiji delicately tore the seam and flipped through the files on his own life. Family, every movement since his trip to America, every connection to each gang. It was written in cursive English a finding he noted out loud.

“They most likely aren’t centered around Japan then, they just might have agents there,” Ash declared. Yut Lung nodded.

Max skimmed through his own collection of the files. “Are we sure it’s not somehow connected to any of the Chinatown gangs?” He held up his stack of papers. “This file is written entirely in Mandarin.”

“And why would I give you information to reveal it was my own gang trying to kill you?” Yut Lung asked, rolling his eyes in a fragrant display, before slamming his own file closed. 

“Throw us off the scent?” Max guessed. 

“It’s no organization stationed in New York,” Ash declared, reinstating seriousness with a glare to Max. “I would have heard of it by now.”

Everyone flipped through their portioned files dutifully, Jessica even taking photos and stared uneasily at her own findings. Ibe looked overwhelmed and ended up looking over Max’s shoulder and whispering commentary. Eiji kept his eyes trained on Ash while slipping the file of his own family into his pocket, through the folder it had come in disgruntledly back on the table. 

“How do they have information on Micheal?” Max asked, to no one in particular.

“You talk about the kid every second of the day,” Ash answered without taking his eyes off his own reading. “His entire life is probably recorded by your phone at this point.” Ash must have seen the panicked way Max reread the file again and the horror that crept into his eyes at the personal information. “Micheal will be fine,” Ash consoled. “And I never asked, where did you send him while you came here?”

“I’ll tell you when we’re out of certain company.” The glance towards Yut Lung was anything but subtle. It was the first moment Jessica seemed to actively participate in the discussion- although she still remained silent and judgmental at her husband's side. 

It took a second for Yut Lung to realize the pairs of eyes fixed on him, that or he let the tension simmer for a second before feeling obligated to reply. “I wouldn’t kidnap your son for the record. I’m not particularly fond of children, much less yours.”

“I wouldn’t have guessed,” Ash droned sarcastically. 

Max had the opposite reaction, slamming the papers on the table with enough force that the other paper buckled. “So they’re fine for the taking when they turn 18?”

“Max!” Eiji exclaimed. He wondered to himself whether it was for Yut Lung’s sake or Ash’s. He leaned toward the latter, as even any vague mention of childhoods often brought back vacant stairs, and a restless night. He glanced at Ash giving a gentle nod of reassurance, but Ash seemed sided with Max until Yut Lung too looked away. Eiji took the softening of Ash’s gaze as a thank you. 

“I’ve read most of these files already,” Yut Lung declared, although with much less character than any of his previous statements, “so I’m going to retire for the night. Call on a servant when you want to be taken to your rooms. Please don’t destroy anything while you’re here.”

Ibe stared as he walked off, Max murmured an ‘about time’ under his breath, and Ash continued to read through each file. Even Jessica stood to the side and began a conversation with the staff of the estate. 

Eiji cleared his throat just loud enough to get their attention. Ash looked up instantaneously. Some part of him wanted to let his own files fall back into the melting pot. Ash would stumble across them. He was thorough enough. He would find them and see another bounty held against Eiji’s head and maybe a timeline of events would be enough to make everything go back to normal. The pieces of constant danger, and shuffling around were already there. “I’m going to walk around and get used to the place. I don’t really know enough about this stuff to be helpful anyways.”

“You are not walking around unprotected,” Ash decreed, giving a side-eye to the staff member, although Eiji still felt the warmth given by his assertion of protection. Jessica whispered a rushed apology. 

“You are welcome to come with me,” Eiji offered with a smile, no matter how tempting the open grounds alone were. He’d spent two years locked up in his own apartment staring at the sun like it was a shrine with enough charmed items to get through another day, only for it to fall short and for Eiji to greet the moon once again. And yet when he had a reason to leave, he craved the isolation. At least this time he wasn’t strapped to unchanged clothes and the same gray walls. He’d bought flowers every grocery run at the condo in New York and placed them on the windowsill. Ash never commented on them, but whenever he was free from his own duties he’d sit in front of the window and read with the sunlight peeking through the petals. One time Eiji forgot to grab a new bouquet and woke up to a fresh bundle of lilies. They were gorgeous even if some of the stems looked crushed. The paths of the estate were lined with flower beds, and Eiji secretly hoped he’d manage to grab a few without being seen. 

Ash sighed and tossed his file in front of Max. “Fine. The two old men here can clean up the paperwork.” Max scowled for a second before chuckling and making a dramatic display of straightening the stacks of paper. 

  * -



“Yes. We thank you for your patience. I apologize for the delay in your call being transferred. Your son was moved to a rehabilitation center to the northeast after his incident.” 

“There is nothing to worry about.”

“Visiting hours there start at 9.”

“There was a power outage shortly after he arrived. That was the only reason you were not informed. His files didn’t transfer from the hospital and so we had no way of contacting you.”

“Of course he is there alone, albeit with other patients, but the group you are asking about was kindly removed from the building.”

“As long as you have proper identification you may take him home tomorrow. A doctor will be on staff to answer any questions you may have.”

“Have a good day Ms. Okurmura. We’ll be in contact again shortly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY THIS IS THE LAST TIME I SWEAR. WE WILL MEET EIJIS MOM NEXT CHAPTER.


	5. Connections

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hinted ED behavior (very brief)  
> Mentioned non-con/abusive pasts
> 
> my one-shot 'Flower written confessions' happens right before this chapter, it just didn't fit quite right with the flow of this chapter, but is just a good pure Asheiji moment: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27624166 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!

Eiji couldn’t sleep. Even with the luxurious sheets that laid on each bed in the mansion, even with the myriad of murals adorning the walls, even with Ash’s declaration of distrust that placed him on the couch in the center of the room, Eiji couldn't sleep. Eiji eventually cracked and told Ash to stop trying to be the bigger man and sleep in the bed. Ash reluctantly accepted but fell asleep after a few minutes of silence. Part of Eiji didn’t want to be alone. His hand itched with the urge to wake Ash up. Given the situation, a touch on the shoulder would be enough to rouse him from his slumber, but Eiji opted to stare at the ceiling. Ornate carvings created vines and leaves above him, although it was too dark to make out anything but the faint shapes. He’d gotten so used to this. The staring and the waiting. After long enough sleep would always take him. It might not be restful but it would always happen. It wasn’t even nerves that kept Eiji’s eyes peeled open. His eyes didn’t burn or flutter nervously to the door, nor did his breath hitch at each noise. It was peaceful, and he couldn’t sleep. Those seven or so hours of silence and stillness did nothing to relax him. The moonlight peering in through the curtains would always be so much more welcoming than sunlight. 

Odd wasn’t it? He’d woken up at the crack of dawn his whole life, letting the bird chirps and sunlight revitalize him. He’d stay up for ungodly hours waiting for Ash to come back to the apartment, and New York wasn’t even this peaceful. The weight of exhaustion became an obligation that Eiji uptook with warm smiles. He’d lay out a first aid kit and curl into the corner of the couch and watch the moving lights outside. Ash had broached the topic a few times but gave up and leaned into a gentle embrace after each long night. 

Ash was safe. Ash was alive. 

It still felt odd. Unreal even. Not even in the way of a contingency that shouldn’t be possible. Eiji had stared up at the moon and watched the phases floating through the sky revive itself over and over and could practically feel Ash with him. He’d have dreams- the ones that weren’t of car chases and knife fights- with Ash sitting domestically at his side making sharp remarks at the TV they sat in front of. One notable one placed them both in a ballroom. Ash walked through the steps like it was nothing, turning on heels with fluid movements. He’d smile and reach out his hand and Eiji would frantically grab it, pulling it to his heart before the dream would fade. 

Ash was safe and alive, and asleep with a smirk pressed into his pillow, and Eiji could relax for the first time in years. He wouldn’t disappear. Eiji relished the moment for as long as he could until the moon had slipped out of sight, before closing his eyes with an exhale. 

  * \- 



Eiji still woke up at the crack of dawn, and Ash was still asleep- albeit with messy hair. The familiar thought crossed his mind that had done so since Ash had appeared at the hospital. The train of thought had evolved, relieving each industrial revolution without the new inventions of pollution. 

‘I’m staying at your side.’ 

‘My soul is always with you.’ 

‘I love you.’ 

Eiji slipped out of bed, wincing as the bed creaked at the movement, before changing clothes quickly in the bathroom. A pair of simple white shirts and loose black formal pants sat in the room- ‘Yut Lung,’ Eiji guessed while rubbing the fabric between his fingers. He’d never been big on textiles or fashion design, but he could tell the articles were fancy, too much so. A clock in the corner sat with a gold frame and an overzealous click as each minute passed. 7:32.

The door cracked open. Eiji would have flinched if not for the soft greeting Yut-Lung gave. A calculated glare was thrown to Ash. Something resembling fear without fear of the consequence. The man’s footsteps were still silent, but he waved to the hallway, and in a moment, Eiji followed. Eiji almost instinctively reached for his collar, feeling the fabric not quite situated against his neck, but decided against it. Even Yut Lung adorned informal attire. A loose shirt and pants, with his hair tied back at his neck. He handed over a case that had been propped against the maroon walls. Even without opening the case, Eiji knew what it was. He clicked open the case nonetheless and stared at the gun. Eiji sighed before grabbing the weapon, shoving it in his waistband, and discarding the case. Yut-Lung looked perplexed at the sudden action but soon gave up on whatever criticism was inlaid in his glare.

“They’re coming today, right?” Eiji asked, flicking his head at the sound of a door closing in their room. Ash was awake. Eiji pulled the shirt down. The gun outline was still visible, but it was worth an attempt.

Yut-Lung nodded and rested his palm against the wall. “I hope you don’t mind, but a few traced calls indicates that they’ll come at approximately 9. Most likely under the guise of your mother visiting.”

Eiji nodded, letting his eyes wander the stitched lines of the rugs that traced the path of the hallways. “I’m not surprised,” he admitted, knowing Yut-Lung knew it was more about his mother than any army. Sing had told him about Yut-Lung’s past. It slipped, but once the gates were open Sing spoke in an uninterrupted monologue trying to justify some of their former enemy's actions. Eiji had assured him that he didn’t need convincing- he’d assumed a tragic past of shorts. Any connection with Goldzine assured that. Eiji swallowed- only realizing then how thirsty he was- before meeting the man’s eyes again. “Are you sure you're okay with us being here? The organization doesn’t seem like they’ll respect the property.”

“I knew what I was signing up for,” Yut-Lung consoled blankly- although the brightness of his eyes gave it away. Eiji hoped it wasn’t excitement towards the violence that was doomed to occur (Eiji hated how easily he accepted casualties as a part of this life). But the more rational part of Eiji speculated that it was just an exaltation of free will. Eiji always forgot just how young he was. Yut-Lung stood with authority, and it was a welcome change to see some child-like enthusiasm, even if it was drastically muted. Yut-Lung curled his hand, tapping each finger against his palm. He was like a different person, subtle quirks that were human, not another weapon made and glamorized for public consumption. Yut-Lung must have noticed Eiji’s introspection, as he dropped his hand and added with forced disinterest. “I don’t particularly like this building either.”

Yut-Lung turned to leave, but the silence felt incomplete. “Thank you,” Eiji said, smiling at the way Yut-Lung stopped in his tracks. He slowly turned around, shoulders more relaxed than before. 

“Ash is lucky,” he declared after a moment had passed. It was murmured under his breath in a reminiscent exhale. “Maybe luckier than he deserves.” Eiji wondered where the world had gone so wrong to give children with mothers with countdowns to disappear. He’d thought about what had happened if Ash had grown up normally. If everyone in their world wasn't burdened with memories of the mafia, and restaurant-fronts could they have grown up normally? Would they have risen with the sun with no ties to the moon to bring them happiness?

“He deserves everything,” Eiji decided, memories of the young boy with a catcher mitt raised to the sky flowing in his mind. Maybe a domestic life wouldn’t fit their personalities, but adrenaline-filled veins should have been consensual. Maybe adrenaline-filled veins could have just been conversations and small mannerisms, not prodded with needles and ropes. 

Yut-Lung smiled sadly, although sad would never quite be the right word. Every betrayal and bask in the moonlight added another dimension to sadness, twisting it to a point past language barriers and colloquialisms. “I hope you're right.”

“You know you aren’t alone right?” Eiji hoped the answer was yes, but his brain had fed him lies enough for him to lose faith. As much satisfaction as he took in each barrier being broken down and recycled in those he talked to, he knew Ash would surely be listening on the other side of the walls. Comparisons across people were too often degrading, but some words were easier said to an audience. And yet, Eiji still longed for whatever convoluted friendship Yut-Lung and he could have. 

“It’s easy to forget,” Yut-Lung answered, a tinge of the familiar sadness returning, “but it’s gotten easier. I truly am sorry…for everything.”

The sincerity was unexpected, and he could almost hear Ash’s voice warning him to be careful. Ash would call it distrust, but the apprehension had only strengthened Eiji’s judgment of those around him. Sing had just seen the light at the end of the tunnel sooner than the rest of them. “Losing your touch,” Eiji laughed out playfully. “I never thought I’d live to see the day you would apologize.”

“Me either,” Yut-Lung replied simply, face adjusting to the way the conversation immediately fell. It wasn’t bad per se, more of just a shock back into reality for both of them. None of them had any right to still be alive. Eiji hoped it wasn’t just a miscalculation in the universe's code. Red strings, and shrines, and traditions, and wafting incense, Eiji would subscribe to any of the practices for the change in fate to stay this way. 

Yut-Lung turned once more, an aura of finality enveloping the corridor. “The drawer second on the right of the desk in there should have Ash’s gun- Smith & Wesson Model 27 if I’m correct. Cut short to his clearly superior standards.” He paused. “Maybe when this is all over we can have a drink that isn’t to forget our problems.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

  * \- 



Ash noticed the gun instantly. The moment Yut-Lung was out of sight, he slipped into the doorframe with an unreadable expression. He didn’t say anything about the weapon, only brandishing his own in response. Ash didn’t put on the clothes given to him- Eiji never expected him to. White and black had lost all regality in his mind a long time ago. Although when he was met with a smile, Ash returned it and flicked his head towards the main room.

Max, Ibe, and Jessica were already waiting, discomfort obvious as they leaned against the pillars. A table full of food had replaced the documents of the night before. Yut Lung never joined them as the five ate in relative silence, only Max and Jessica exchanging forced conversation. Most of them picked at their food at first, holding each item shakily in between chopsticks and staring at it. Even Ibe seemed to lose his proficiency for a moment. Eiji noticed Ash’s uncertainty, leaving his plate blank with distant scans around the room. He knew it wasn’t just the nerves, but he would never broach the topic in public. He whispered to Ash, explaining what the dishes were- most of them were traditional foods in a strange mix between Japanese and Chinese- and poking fun at the American’s conflicted comments. It worked well enough. Ash threw a dirty plate on the pile that was quickly taken away by a servant. 

The platters were taken away soon after, and soon the table was empty again. Ash cleared his throat and drew in the rest of their party's attention. 

“We expect the next attack to go down at 9 this morning. Here. You three,” he pointed across the table at Max, Ibe, and Jessica, “will leave and wait for a confirmation from me. Leave your phones here- we don’t need you getting tracked. I’ll find a way to contact you.”

They didn’t fight the orders. Max looked ready to, but in the end, he just exuded exhaustion. They looked at Eiji and sighed when he was excluded from their same treatment. Ibe still looked worried. That never changed. Jessica was the first to throw her phone on the table and the first to look happy that Ash wasn’t pushing him away. The black case was scratched and worn. Ibe followed after, and finally, Max grunted and slid his across the table. 

The preparations went by in a blur. Yut-Lung sent a few men to guard the doors and handed over earpieces to Ash and Eiji. Ash lectured with a few more gun pointers and warnings to stay by his side. Eiji smirked and asked Ash to pick an object in the room. Ash replied hesitantly with a bottle on the opposite side of the room. Eiji lifted the gun, pointed, and shot, practically beaming at Ash who stood shocked before jokingly declaring a marksman competition. 

Eiji bit his tongue when Ash asked where he had learned to shoot- much less in Japan. Ash let it go just as quickly.

It was surreal waiting for an attack. Eiji almost forgot about his mom. As much history as he had with her, the idea that she would be used as bait made his stomach turn. Ash reassured him that trying to stop that aspect of their assailant's plan would only get her killed in the process. Eiji would call this the eye of the storm, but an eye suggested a clear end. If the ocean waves crashed harder at each gust of wind, then Eiji was already beneath the water. His metaphors had become so instinctual with their water connection. He kept it as limited to his mind as possible. The mention of any major bodies of water put a gleam of panic into Ash’s eyes that tore at Eiji’s heartstrings. 

The clock situated above the door frame struck nine, and on cue, a car pulled through the pavilion. Eiji’s mother was punctual to a fault. Eiji’s throat clenched, and his hands balled at his side. Ash noticed and reached down, wrapping his hand around Eiji’s. His eyes asked for confirmation. Eiji nodded and let his hand sprawl out and intertwine with Ash’s fingers. The weight of the gun weighed on Eiji’s mind, and Ash squeezed his hand before listening to the earpiece reiterate what they had already seen. 

A short woman stepped out, with a corduroy coat draped over her shoulders. She glanced around, taking in the surroundings before her eyes landed on the open room that faced her. Ash went to move his hand, but Eiji looked over and mouthed ‘please.' Ash obliged with a smile. 

She talked in a slur of Japanese that made Ash’s head blur. Various Japanese books lined the apartment, and Ash would pour over them, trying to understand the language. It was nearly impossible when the phrases were thrown around outside of a textbook. The one thing Ash could recognize was Eiji’s name being called out with an odd mix of reprimands and pleading. 

The earpiece rattled in Eiji’s head, a woman's voice flowing smoothly despite the interference. 

“Having them throw away their phones was not a good move. I thought you would have given us a challenge. Oh, but Eiji. Do enjoy the reunion.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay I know, one day I promise I won't leave every chapter at a cliffhanger, but it's also been like a month since I uploaded so like I needed something,,
> 
> thank you again to everyone who is still reading this story!


	6. Plans and actions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been forever, but I finally have a good idea of how I want to end this! Although realistically I'll prob post one shots to fill in some of the gaps when I get to it.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who is still reading this <3

_ They were fighting again. Eiji shouldn’t have been surprised. They tried to keep the insults behind closed doors for months, it was inevitable that it would reach his ears eventually. It would stop soon enough. A few minutes, a few deep breaths, and the music pounding through the radio perched in his room, and the consistent rhythms would be internalized. The yelling continued, always followed by brief periods of hushed silence that always seemed so much worse. But it didn’t stop this time. The cycle repeated itself over and over. The chrysalis would shatter and the butterfly effect would start once more. The eye of the storm and each flap of delicate wings. They were simply the places where time didn’t flow quite right.  _

_ His father would stop at the gas station each time after he picked Eiji up. The nozzle would enter their worn-down car and a few seconds later it would be full. They didn’t use the car that often. His father would stand outside and stare at the changing numbers until they too reached a standstill. He always took in a deep breath and forced his shoulders to relax before slipping back into the car. His hand would always graze the steering wheel. He always seemed to forget the key. He always seemed to want to forget.  _

_ Eiji never understood where the intransigent thoughts he cycled through came from. It would have been so much easier to see things in black and white, or at the very least in a way that wasn’t so subjective. He loved the poetry every other kid scoffed at in class. He loved the kanji that had infinite meanings depending on the circumstance. He loved the clever wordplay that could be put together with strings of alliterative vowels. But it made it so easy to get lost in his own head. Nothing around him warranted itself to such complex thought. Notebook pages of notes would be filled at school, conditioning and sprints around the track after and a list of chores when he got home. He created his own labyrinth, where the thoughts wouldn’t stop racing until there was a perfect analogy. A perfect way to capture his thoughts. Something descriptive and vivid enough that it would never be misunderstood.  _

_ He didn’t see through rose-tinted glasses. Roses were too associated with connections, each friendship made and each new blossoming romance created with long-held glances. Maybe he saw through murky skylines, through the way clouds covered the sun just enough for the world to be cast into shadows but for the light to still shine through.  _

_ It was a shame he never said any of the connections. Or even write them down. _

_ His father would always hum in the car. The songs seemed so full of sorrow. If plants absorbed the rain gifted by polluted skies, who was to say that the oxygen inhaled before each lasting note didn’t accept it the same way. The humming stopped a block from their house. Eiji would be ushered up to his room and given one last glance from his father before he rummaged through the cooler they all knew he was hiding. It was in the guest bedroom, slipped between the alcove where the spare boxes went. The outlet seemed too purposeful. Eiji always wondered if his father had installed it, or been the first one to notice it.  _

_ Four pages of homework were tossed at the end of his bed, so were the textbooks with dog-eared pages. Whatever number of pages and sacrificed trees went into his education didn’t stop the yelling. Glass broke downstairs after another page was turned. Eiji just turned another one. Maybe the book incited conflict. It detailed food chains and power struggles. It detailed the body's processes after death. Maybe when he reached the end it would all end. Cover to cover and war to war.  _

_ Kumi pulled into the driveway, driven by a friend's mom, and raced up to the doorway. The yelling stopped and Eiji closed the book.  _

_ Two hours and thirteen minutes until dinner. Five hours and twenty-seven minutes until Kumi went to sleep. Another hour until his father would slump across the couch. Seven hours and forty minutes until the eye of the storm broke. At least the flowers were blooming outside. At least the sun still rose each morning. At least the radio was still working.  _

_ His mother called his name and he sighed. If the gas station was subjected to the morphed perception of time, who's to say that this wasn’t too.  _

The events that followed his mother’s arrival went in a blur. Not exactly hazy, but disorienting enough to omit the details. The warehouse they had sent Max, Ibe, and Jessica to had been swarmed after a message was sent through a spy in Yut-Lung’s mansion. Eiji didn’t know who the poor soul was, only that he faced the wrath of a lynx and a dragon. The leader of the group- they never did find out her name since there were no records or declarations of pride from any of the members- sent taunts occasionally over the hacked line. Max’s protests competed with the footsteps of attackers that muffled the background. The leader kept up her unyielding facade. She insisted that Ash meet her in person and in exchange the hostages would be released.

It felt sickenly normal. Eiji didn’t know if he would prefer to be the one with a gun aimed at his head or not. He had gone through the charade. Their enemies had leveled up. He felt the same panic and desperation each time until eventually, it faded in with the finality of death. 

Ash would never show it, but he took the events so much harder than Eiji ever could. If the gunfights and burning buildings had happened before Eiji’s walls were built high then maybe he would break down each night and feel the familiar pull of nightmares that itched to drag him back into muddy memories. The walls were built sturdy with slots for each hour of sunlight to peer through. The fingers of daylight caressing the edges before moving on to the next section of stone. Ash got in so easily. Hair like dawn was able to ride in with command of Ra’s chariot. The hours of terror before he reached the sky only seemed fitting. When dawn had broken the stones down it invited friends and once only the desolate moonlight was left the walls were built higher. Makeshift patches covered the slots for the sunlight and parapets were built up with the last of the resources dragged from the darkest depths of Eiji’s mind. 

Why was he not scared?

Pictures had been sent to Ash’s phone of Ibe pushed against a wall with bound hands. Max had a deep cut on his cheek. Jessica had blood running down her shirt. 

Ash was so quick to rush to their rescue, and all Eiji could do was sit in the passenger seat and watch the passing clouds. It was impossible to think that the pink and orange gradients that covered the sky could form storm clouds. Part of him wanted lightning to form. If enough electricity ran through the sky’s ranks then an army would form, with bullets of rain and hail and snow. He aspired to be beautiful and dangerous. But people would still curse the weather. 

He hadn’t even hesitated to run past his mother. She gaped when he and Ash pulled out their guns and loaded them. She turned her back and walked off. The sound of screeching tires seemed to repel her quite well. 

_ He found the pill bottles first. He didn’t mention it. The next day his father had a business trip. He was in the emergency room by the end of the week. _

_ He expected grief. His teachers had drilled in the advice for remorse with straight faces and textbook excerpts and quizzes handed out at the start of class. They listed the different ways you could react to it. Eiji never expected to go through all of them. So many of them were pushed and back and withheld. He tried to live for his sister. She would rest her head on his shoulder and whisper reassurances. He woke up each morning and expected to see his father bleary-eyed in the kitchen holding onto a cup of tea like an elixir. He pushed frustrations out and sprinted faster and longer than anyone else on the track. Movies romanticized dramatic crying. If he collapsed hard enough on the ground then the healing would start, or at least the next major milestone in his story.  _

_ He saw Ash resting on the hospital bed. He breathed out compliments to Eiji and stared at the sky. The clouds were still gradients. The storm clouds were yet to gather.  _

_ It was only after he left the room that the tears came. Ash’s father got shot. Ash’s father allowed everything to happen to Ash. Part of Eiji didn’t even regret shouting that day. Ash was put in danger and for that, he would never forgive himself fully. Ash still called him father. Even after everything. His father got to live even after everything.  _

_ Ash asked him one of the nights in the truck towards Los Angeles why he had stood up to his father. Ash had said they never talked normally, but late at night when Shorter had taken over driving for the night on the promise he could grab whatever the hell he wanted at the next gas station. Did Ash forget those conversations? Eiji wouldn’t blame him. They still barely knew each other. Ash listed off things that showed his cards too quickly. He would hide them again once morning came and would lurk in the passenger seat.  _

_ His father would probably hate Ash. He liked the calm and liked his traditions. Eiji wondered what he would say if he were here.  _

_ His son was sucked into a world of gangs and the mafia. His son was a shell of his former self that could only hope he was growing back. His son was in love with a gang leader with perfect precision and authority that opposed the government. He loved his traditions after all. There was no reason he would like Ash. _

_ His father was so calm. The medications pumping through his IV’s only made it more pronounced. Ash got so temperamental whenever he was down- even if it was just for the night. He had come back to the apartment with knife wounds and Eiji struggled to get him to stay still. How many stitches had he torn? How many had been on purpose? _

The car stopped and Ash fiddled once more with the gun. He had said he didn’t trust Yut-Lung’s handling of the weapon. Ash had taken it apart while they waited in the morning and inspected each piece. He still didn’t fully trust it. He scowled at the barrel, but still gave in and rested it in his hand. 

“Stay in the car,” Ash demanded, twisting the keys and fiddling with the brakes. “It was enough that you demanded to come.”

Eiji snorted and took off his seatbelt. Ash didn’t bother to put one on in the first place. “Who’s to say I’ll be safe here?”

“You’ll be driving away,” Ash explained. He tossed the keys to Eiji and checked the rearview windows with a quick glance. Eiji instinctively did the same. Nothing. The organization’s whole goal was to get Ash, there was no way they would come off strong right off the bat. 

“No.” Eiji grabbed his own gun and unlocked the door. Ash grabbed his hand before Eiji could step out. 

“I’m not doing this right now.” 

“You don’t have to if you just let me come with you,” Eiji retorted, though he didn’t let go of Ash’s hand.

“You’ll get hurt,” he insisted. Eiji bit back to urge to bring up each time Ash got injured when he insisted on fighting alone. “You think so little of me,” is what Eiji landed on. It wasn’t wrong. Ash expected the foreigner who couldn’t shoot a target ten feet away from him. Time and grief had a strange way of spawning action. 

Ash scowled at Eiji’s own self-deprecation, but let it fall at Eiji’s smirk. “Of course not. But you are not getting a gun wound today.”

Eiji gave one last squeeze to Ash’s hand before pulling open the door and running towards the warehouse. “Wasn’t planning on it Aslan,” he said to the wind. 

_ Eiji never understood the violence. He would see movies with hunting so glorified and wondered what satisfaction they gained from it. Was it the way it was socially acceptable to blend into the forest? Was it the act of covering up your footsteps? Was the adrenaline enough to push someone to hold a weapon? Eiji would never understand hunting beyond the fact that it happened. But he finally figured out the appeal of weapons and fed rounds of ammunition. Complete control of the world around you. With the slightest movement of your finger, life can end. With the slightest movement, a situation can change. With the slightest movement, the butterfly effect can start anew.  _

_ He came to New York for Ash’s supposed funeral and then again for Max and Jessica’s wedding. After the first one, most of the guests retreated towards hotel rooms and bars, commiserating in the shared loss. The second was the same for different reasons. Jessica insisted on a wedding at sunset and into the night. A few rounds of beer were shared among the guests. And soon, they all prepared for another night and for another day. After both Eiji wandered around the streets of the city. He managed to escape Ibe’s watchful eyes- although part of him wondered if Ibe just gave up trying to contain him. He stumbled across a rugged shop with targets set in an old building. The owner and atmosphere should have been enough to deter him. Under normal circumstances, Eiji would have run away with hushed apologizes.  _

_ He made his way to the building each time he came to New York and turned off his phone's locations each time. His ringer was never on, to begin with. The owner opened up to him eventually and didn’t bother with the cover charges. She would nod as Eiji walked in and offer a smile. Eiji returned it after a while. He got good at it. Of course never as good as Ash. He insisted that if he kept pushing maybe he could stop the tears that formed at the sound of a gunshot.  _

_ He didn’t like it. It wasn’t pleasurable to feel the gun kick against your hand and to have your ears ring afterward, but he was in control and for a moment the world stopped. His breath would hitch and a rush of adrenaline would be enough to clear the storm clouds. If this is how Ash felt at each encounter, maybe that’s why he was insistent on staying.  _

_ Eiji knew it wasn’t true. Ash had confirmed himself that he hated each time he picked up a gun. He hated how instinctual it was to aim and pull the trigger.  _

_ Aslan must have wanted to stay for something. Whatever it was, it wasn’t driven by Eiji. He’d gotten the letter and still decided to die. It was easier to blame it on the gun.  _

Eiji had forgotten how good it felt to run. He wouldn’t be the damsel anymore, but he would make his own happy ending no matter how many rounds of gunshots it took. Ash could kill in an instant. Eiji made sure to learn to demobilize. Blood would not be spilled from a stilled heart. 

Nobody would hurt Aslan. 

  * -



Jessica was not amused, although given the situation it would be hard to have it any other way. Part of her wanted to blame Max. Ash had told the three of them to abandon their phones and to walk into a warehouse twelve miles away. At least the kid slipped Max a gun before they left, even if it was only after Max’s hassling. She was kind of hurt Ash didn’t give her one too, but it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. Ibe drove them, and even with sunglasses on and hoods pulled over their heads they still must have been followed or at least spotted. The moment they stepped out of the car guns were already pointed at their heads. 

Their leader didn’t delve into some speech or give personal information designed to strike terror into her victim's hearts. Even if Jessica hadn’t been there for some of their faceoffs, all of them sounded too villainous to be true. At least the girl was straightforward. She fired a warning shot when Max reached for his waistband. 

Ibe gave into the soldiers that surrounded him immediately. He even offered his hands to be tied. Of course, Jessica didn’t blame him. When they had all been tossed in the main building he was handled far more delicately. 

The building was prepared ahead of time. Wooden ramps lined the walls by the small slits that served as windows. The main door had padlocks and chains dangled across it. So much work for such unclear motives. Golzine, she could understand, Foxx was the most blatant. Even Blanca at least had a contract to boot for his threats. They all had their own connections to Ash. The kid had never seen this woman before. According to Yut-Lung, she must have been involved in the mafia rings or something. Her information was date specific and included photo references. 

The three of them were constantly watched by at least two of her men, not even lackluster ones that couldn’t be trusted with the main offensive force. They stood with watchful eyes and poised weapons. Max tried engaging them at some point and was kicked in the gut for his efforts. The guards didn’t seem like talking anyway. 

Jessica trusted Ash to get them out of this. Despite the woman's careful planning and militia at hand, there was no emotion written on her face. Maybe she had just been assigned a job by a higher up. Most people would seize with anger or look giddy as they watched for Ash to roll up, but everything seemed too calm. This part of the city was abandoned. There were more dumpsters and forgotten supplies than trees. If they really wanted to overpower Ash, they would have tied their hostages to the center of a public park. The overlooked and rugged areas were Ash’s playground. Even within the warehouse itself, there were too many places that the kid could just take cover in and take out guards one by one. 

Jessica shifted in her restraints and let her head fall against the wall. If she looked defeated, they wouldn’t view her as a threat. She hated waiting games but, at least there were plenty of people to analyze until Ash showed up. 

  * -



Eiji looked too confident. As much as Ash longed to see him go back to his standoffish self that spoke with assurance, it still felt off. The entire ride he looked distant. Not even in an ‘I’m scared and visualizing possible outcomes’ kind of distant. Maybe it was just his way of keeping a level head. Though there was nothing level about running straight towards the enemy. 

Ash ran to follow him and cursed at the gravel beneath his feet. He’d always been good at sprinting, he had to be. Blanca harped on every tip to run as fast as possible in any terrain. From how to keep your eyes focused on the ground and your surroundings anywhere with rough terrain to how to remember the inclines and patterns of hills, how to turn and maneuver without losing momentum- anything that could outrun a bullet. Ash knew he was out of practice. It had been two years after all and most of the days he couldn’t do much past the essentials- if that. But it was still him. Him, Ash Lynx, the gang leader that was elusive as he was resilient, couldn’t catch up to Eiji in time before they reached the warehouse. 

Eiji hadn’t even seen the schematics and he still sprinted up to the correct building tucked away. Third on the right with the main entrance facing west. Ash knew very well that screaming wouldn’t stop Eiji. Words alone didn’t do much. If he was determined to do something he would do it. Ash would curse his stubbornness if it wasn’t on par with his own. He still found himself calling out Eiji’s name. They would have been detected by now anyway. He’d gambled enough to know when to go all-in and Eiji was a gamble in of himself. 

Maybe he was addicted to it. Or just maybe he didn’t want the idiot getting shot.

Still, Ash doubted that would happen. Even if he had been inside the room at Yut-Lung’s mansion he could still hear the exchange Yut-Lung and Eiji made. He guessed it was paper, a decent amount at that. Probably detailing something important. Something that Eiji wanted to hide. He had walked back into the room and had managed to hide it within minutes of entering. 

Ash never thought he’d live to see the day where Eiji would shoot a lock open and smile as he entered a room filled with armed men. 


	7. Gunshots and promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> previously- an organization is once again after Ash for unknown reasons. Information has been gathered but none of it leads to anything conclusive other than revenge. Ash is more than willing to fight. He's heard it over and over how Eiji distracted him, but he's never been more distracted than now. He's never seen Eiji this far from himself. 
> 
> They assumed the group would attack at the arrival of Eiji's mother at Yut-Lung's estate. However, when she arrived all they got was a call informing them that Max, Jessica, and Ibe had been taken as hostages in a warehouse. Ash wastes no time to rush there with Eiji by his side. When they arrive Ash lectures Eiji to stay put, but Eiji runs to the warehouse with his gun raised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S ALMOST BEEN TWO MONTHS
> 
> I AM SO SORRY
> 
> AkFJDKJFKS
> 
> but the new chapters here? and things happen?
> 
> hope you guys enjoy! and thank you to everyone who has stuck around. you mean the world to me

“What is it?” Eiji called, fiddling with hands in the pockets of his pants. His eyes flicked to the man in front of him and back again. Ash was in the room over, pouring his brain into schematics and strategies. They both knew Ash would abandon them at a moment's notice. Ash had mentioned something about Blanca’s obsession with plans and contracts- ‘one day the world will be more than you. They won’t be able to adapt. All you can do is follow the constraints and pray that it works.’ Eiji hated proving Blanca wrong. He hated the man more than anything but bit his tongue at the solace Ash gained from the man. 

“Why are  _ you _ being hunted down?” Yut-Lung asked. Eiji couldn’t tell if it was genuine intrigue or a liability. His glare and emphasis on Eiji said too much. 

“The reports-” Eiji muttered out, managing to match Yut-Lung’s gaze. He had been naive to assume Yut-Lung hadn’t read them beforehand. Eiji had written them in the sloppiest Japanese he could manage and filled them to the brim with acronyms and analogies. It hadn’t been enough. 

“I thought it was weird how much information they had on you, to begin with,” Yut-Lung explained. “Turns out the documents on Ash were a cover-up. I never thought you’d be such a big threat.” 

Yut Lung looked impressed? Eiji knew his throat should have closed up at the praise. He was becoming more and more like them, more and more like the men Ash didn’t hesitate to destroy. Ash was lucky to defeat so many of them. They called him a devil among men, but devils don’t write the rules of creation. 

Eiji chuckled and his hands fell deadly still at his sides. “If they had only bothered to wait another few months.” He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. 

Eiji had always loved plays as a child. The theater masks were brandished on each new program next to the actors' names. He knew that Ash changed. He talked to them with daggers in his eyes, occasionally hilt out with the blade pointed at his heart. He always managed to flip it in time. He would roll his shoulders back and smooth his hair back. Eiji would always love Ash, but a part of him couldn’t help but feel so disconnected from Ash- not his Aslan. 

“What exactly did you do Eiji?”

If he hadn’t known better, he would have thought Yut-Lung looked scared. Fear and rage were too convoluted in the man. Ash blurred pride and sacrifice. Whatever was left was passed to Eiji to try and interpret. 

Yut-Lung didn’t look scared. Yut-Lung's surprise was painted in the way his lips parted, suspicion was threaded into the way his eyebrows furrowed, and anxiety laced itself into his eyes. But that would never be fear. He still managed to look proud. 

Eiji wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. 

Eiji shrugged off the question and spoke louder as he continued. “Trust me. They won’t do anything. They had us completely surrounded at the restaurant. Our escape seemed a little too easy, didn’t it?” Yut Lung nodded. 

“Turns out being locked in an apartment next to a major mafia headquarters had its advantages.”

He’d spent too many hours in front of that camera. It was angled at the conference room and directly above the main entrance. Ash had given him hours' worth of film. 

‘It can’t be hacked,’ he'd said. 

Eiji’s eyes looked out for each government official that shook hands with the mafia. So much more happened in the building. So much more could be heard in Yut Lung’s estate. 

“Blanca was right…” Yut Lung muttered with a sharp change in his demeanor. The name was enough to make Eiji’s hand clench. 

“You were in contact with Blanca?”

Yut Lung nodded and twirled the ends of his hair. “I contacted him to see if he could offer any assistance with our current situation. He was being more cautious than usual.” He breathed in and took a stride forward. “What information do you have exactly?”

A chuckle escaped Eiji’s throat. “They wiretapped this place, you must have noticed them.”

Ash had taught him to look for security measures. It was concerning how many varieties there were. Even more, so that Ash knew them all. 

“Of course I did. Why you would throw away a perfectly good opportunity to throw them off the trail and leak them fake info is beyond me.”

Eiji shrugged. “Lies are much more convincing when they’re based on the truth. It wouldn’t matter either way.”

“Perhaps.”

A moment of silence filled the hallway until Eiji interrupted it with a resigned order, still retaining the determined glint in his eye. 

“Follow behind me and Ash. This will end up well for both of us.”

Yut-Lung nodded and turned on his heels. He threw his hand back and smirked. “This new character of yours is interesting. I wonder how your precious Ash would react to something this devious.”

“He got me most of the information- indirectly of course, at least in his eyes.” The tone dropped immediately and Eiji let his face fall. “I am going to end this all, for all of us. So just follow along.” 

  * \- 



Ash shut down his computer each time he left the condo. The passwords were changed daily, and he cycled through a different computer every few months. But the computer and all the information Ash had gathered were always left in the apartment. 

Eiji was always curious but understood that Ash kept him and the rest of the world separate and so he never read through the files. He would peer over Ash's shoulder when he was working and ask questions to see how far he could get.

When news of Ash’s death spread, the few possessions he had were passed to Eiji. To Eiji’s knowledge, there was no debate and no contention on who would get the few assorted items from a dead gang leader. The only thing Ash owned were trinkets; small and bland enough to be carried with him and his computer. Even his outfits were thrown away too often. At some point, the bloodstains stopped coming out. His suits were all leftover from Dino and were shoved in the farthest corner of the condo and when they had to leave, Ash threw them away. 

Eiji had gotten the stories of all the trinkets. It was almost always at night. Ash would come back exhausted but refuse to admit it, while Eiji made tea and passed the mug to Ash. Ash would sit on the edge of the bed- he never liked to be in the center- and would stare at the skyline. Once the mugs were empty, and Ash’s persona finally fell, he would share a random story. Most of them were about the gang. Kong and Bones seemed to have the most stories. But sometimes, he would talk about Griffin.

An origami crane that was bent out of shape and discolored. A result of his brother's boredom on a car ride back to Cape Cod. 

A bracelet strung together with multi-colored beads that Ash had made in school and given his brother. Ash would never admit to wearing it, but traces of the bright colors appeared on his wrist in the early hours of the morning. 

And of course his computer. It was worn down, and the letters had rubbed off on the keys. Ash always typed aggressively. He would put on his glasses and peer dangerously at the screen and smash the keys before voicing his frustrations through a defeated slump. 

Ash boasted his cracking software. It was his key to getting information about banana fish. It only escalated from there. It was left in the sole of his converse along with a razor blade. As much as Eiji refused to believe Ash could have been dead when the software was placed into his hands by a weary Max he couldn’t help but lose hope. Eiji refused to open the computer for months, and he wiped the dust that accumulated on it each week. It was after Max and Jessica's wedding that he decided to open it. Eiji had seen Ash with the gang. He had seen Ash with Goldzine and the people who had hurt him. He had seen Ash interact with himself and Eiji. The computer was the one part Eiji hadn’t seen. 

Eiji winced when the computer logged in effortlessly the moment the hard-drive was inserted. There were countless files, all listed with detailed names and times and hidden away in orderly files. The larger files were all encrypted, and the few smaller ones had broad statements and redacted information.

One file was separate from the rest with too many security measures for something labeled so simply. ML. 

Eiji let it be and turned with a determined scowl to the rest of the files. 

  * \- 



The door opened easily or, maybe Eiji’s fluid motion that cast the doors aside looked that effortless. 

Eiji had run headfirst into something that was obviously a trap. Eiji had shot a gun without hesitation. Eiji walked into an enclosed space with dozens of armed guards, and most importantly, Eiji was not getting shot at. Blanca’s training would tell him to stay back. His vantage point was out of the line-of-fire but still had a clear view of the situation. He could access and then act accordingly. The keys were behind in the car if he needed a getaway. By all rational, Ash should have waited. 

He sprinted and saw a line of shotguns being raised at him. In a second, his arms wrapped around Eiji and pulled him to the side but, Eiji only stumbled for a few steps until he stepped in front of Ash with outspread arms and panicked eyes. A few spare gunshots had gone off as Ash ran. They had stopped, and each attacker had their eyes trained on Eiji. 

Eiji cleared his throat and turned his head to face Ash. His body faced the opening of the warehouse. 

“Stay behind me and follow my lead.”

Ash gaped and felt his throat tighten.  _ What the hell is Eiji thinking?  _

Eiji took one look at Ash’s vacant face ( _ he was always so calm when he lied _ ) and shared a soft smile.

“Do you trust me?”

Eiji hadn’t smiled like that since they were in America. Every smile since Ash had come back was duller and tainted. Ibe said that Japan was pressing towards Eiji. What a fantastic lie. Ibe had never heard the way Eiji preached about the Japanese gods. He’d tell the mythology with an exuberant accent and acting and would bury his face in his hands when Ash teased him, even if it only took seconds for Ash to follow suit. Eiji would make traditional Japanese meals a few times a week and complain about the lack of spices in the grocery store below the condo. Eiji would trade stories about his sisters while Ash did the same about his gang. They both decided that she and Sing would get along- that or be entertaining to watch bicker. 

In the end, it was never Japan that crushed Eiji, and it wasn’t the place that brought the smile back. So Ash nodded. Of course, he would. No matter how stubborn and headstrong Eiji was. No matter how much the dopey grins and sarcastic retorts weakened him, according to everyone around him. No matter what, Ash couldn’t refuse Eiji. 

“I trust you.”

Eiji smiled and pointed his gun ahead of him, giving a short nod as he walked forward. Ash followed, and his finger traced the trigger as they entered the building. Max, Jessica, and Ibe looked up from the side. Two guards were stationed around them. Rope was tied around their arms and legs. An array of injuries covered their skin. They were bad enough that some had turned a sickly blue. Max looked the worst off. His eye was swollen, and his lip had bled and crusted over. 

All of it was too simple. Rope restraints were workable. It was long enough before he and Eiji had arrived that they could be loosened. Even if they remained still and obedient, they still allowed for a level of mobility. There were no more formal uniforms among the group. They had worn all black but, their attire looked almost casual. A few plain shirts, jeans, and khakis were mixed intermittently as well as an odd mix of formal wear among the guards. 

They even looked surprised. They looked at Eiji’s raised gun with discontent, and a few of them put their weapons down. 

“I didn’t come here to bargain,” Eiji declared. 

Ash winced at how much it sounded like himself. He hated how his inflection changed when he approached his gang. He hated how articulated he became when faced with danger. Most of all he hated that Eiji’s declaration sounded pre-written. 

The leader stood in the center of the warehouse with two guards by her side that she promptly waved off. She looked more annoyed than anything. Her arms lay across her chest and her gun was secured in its holster. 

“You’d just leave them to die?” She asked, venom dripping into her words even if she spoke softly. 

Eiji must have noticed her concealed weapon. He lowered his gun and shoved it into his waist pocket despite Ash’s protests behind them. They were far from eloquent- Max always called him a bumbling mess when he talked to Eiji- but Ash could feel his heartbeat in his ears and muscles tense as he was powerless. 

“We both know you won’t kill them.”  _ We both know I won’t let you.  _

“It was a bold move to come here. We could have killed you in an instant.”

Ash wished he knew the woman's name. Her animosity was infuriating. Ash had been marked and brandished and diminished to nothing but a name and a pretty face. Why should she be any different? Ash hoped he could judge character. He’d relied on his instincts for so long that anything else seemed superstitial. He despised Yut-Lung but could tell a difference between him and Arthur, and Eiji had proved him right. Eiji had always proved him right. Arthur smiled at spilled blood and relished at the stains it left. Ash looked at the woman in front of him and couldn’t tell. She showed no indication of manipulation or fear that chained her to this position. There were no guns from higher powers aimed at her head to finish a script, but she didn’t seem to take any joy from it either. 

Eiji still seemed to mull her statement over, although it wasn’t contemplation. An evaluation of whether it was worth his energy? Ash couldn’t believe that. The phone call he had gotten from Ibe played in his mind- an unprompted flashback that made his mouth go dry and his teeth clench. They could have killed Eiji in an instant. They could have killed him, and Eiji showed no hesitation. 

“You could,” Eiji started, “But you wouldn’t. Or should I say, you can’t.”

_ Oh. _ Ash wasn’t sure if he should be relieved or not. Ash had hidden so much from Eiji. It was always under the guise of 'his safety' (God is this how Eiji felt all those times?) The idiom was ‘left in the dark.’ Only now, the darkness wasn’t the same as star-lit skies and truths too vast to understand. It was the constricting pull of shadows in doorways. 

“You underestimate our resilience.”

“And you underestimate me. What did you think this would accomplish?” There was no hesitation in Eiji’s words. He stumbled over himself in that New York bar and held a gun like it was an ancient artifact. Who would have thought it would lead here. 

“You’ve ran from plenty of fights before. Plenty of people have been left vulnerable. Who am I to plan a game of chess when you’re so willing to throw out your pieces?”

“Release them,” Eiji hissed. Even Jessica looked concerned. Ibe and Max’s faces were blank. 

“Or what?” She raised an eyebrow and flung her arms open. She looked like she wanted to be hit by lightning. She looked like she would relish it. But her hands still shook in the air, and her eyes were unfocused. Ash never liked to look a dead man in the eyes. He knew it was cruel in its own way. The detachment was worse than naivety. Ash avoided mirrors for the same reason. If he looked in a mirror he would see the scars across his chest and arms. Eiji was the opposite. Every person that fell with a bullet in their chest was given a lingering stare and another ounce of sympathy by Eiji. How long ago had that well run dry? How long ago did Eiji stop looking at their eyes? And why the hell did Eiji keep turning back and checking on  _ him _ and giving him those damn caring stares?

Eiji looked once at him once more, an apology already on his lips, before he pulled the gun out in one motion and shot towards the woman. 

Ash had seen enough gunshots to be able to trace them. Blink, and it would be gone, but if you focused enough, if you held each ounce of adrenaline like a sip of ambrosia, you could see the bullet fly past and hope to chase it. 

It nicked the woman’s cheek, and she stared. Eiji didn’t even flinch at the recoil. It looked like he absorbed it. 

It took a second for the rest of her men to raise their weapons with clattering fingers on the triggers.

Ash hated it. The knot in his stomach. The familiarity of blood in the air. The focused stare. But Eiji didn’t show rage. At least not now. It wasn't a cold detachment. Eiji absorbed gunshots. Ash was beginning to think he relished them too. 

“Release them.”

The woman held her face in her hand and dragged it through her hair. “What does it matter?” she sighed. “Even if I die there will always be people who remember what you”- she pointed at both of them- “did. There will always be people who will want you dead.”

“And I have one who wants me alive.” Eiji’s arm held in the air blocking Ash from the warehouse fell slightly and met Ash’s hand. An invitation. “We’ll see which is stronger,” Eiji challenged the moment their hands intertwined. 

She scowled. Not in the same hungry way Dino did, or in the same vengefulness Arthur seemed to portray. 

Why couldn’t Ash read her? Had he gotten that soft?

“We were sent here to negotiate,” she said and Ash noticed the guards begin to spread out. Soon Max, Ibe, and Jessica were left unattended. “The next group will be far more violent.”

Eiji put away his gun and squeezed Ash’s hand once before removing his own. 

“You villains are all the same. ‘There’s always someone more powerful than me.’ You’ve been around long enough to realize it- power does not mean strength. It does not mean purpose. You may have more power, but we have more life.” Eiji motioned for the hostages to move. Of course, Max was the first one to walk over. Followed by Jessica, who gave a death stare to her captors, and to Ibe who kept his head down. 

“Sayounara,” he announced in the same perfect pronunciation and annunciation he had shown Ash. “Although once I release it all there won’t be much point in your endeavors. Kill me if you want, but this is a way out. The past can stay in the past. It’s tiring to jump between years, isn’t it?”

“You’ll realize one day that not everyone is worth protecting,” their assailant sneered before waving a hand half-heartedly in the air and walking towards the back wall. 

“He is.”

Ash had a lot of questions. 


	8. we are damaged, but not beyond repair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously, the organization targetting Ash and Eiji left after a strange confrontation that Ash couldn't understand. Eiji had said he trusted Ash? How deep did that go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this chapter has so much dialogue- its ridiculous. The next (and last I think) chapter will be longer, I promise! But this chapter really just explains everything behind the scenes and that happened with Eiji over the two years.

Ash had never experienced something like this. It was the familiarity that was so appalling. Hostages were commonplace in his life. With all the metaphors tossed around- codewords had lost their charm a long time ago- Ash would have thought they’d stumble across a greater variety. Hostages were their pawns, except they weren’t taken out by royal knights with well-planned moves. 

Dino had taught him chess. It made sense all in all. French textbooks were piled on his bookshelves. He’d gotten the best tutors from across the globe. Of course, he had learned war in a compact metaphor. When had gold stars been replaced with seafood dinners in pristine suits? 

It was all fake. At least it was established. Which led back to Ash’s main point. Everything in his life had been laid out. Club Cod had a schedule printed out and slipped under his door most weeks. Even on the more impromptu appointments, Ash could always tell by Dino’s malicious stare as he walked by. The gangs had a clear hierarchy and a set of unofficial rules. Kill a boss, and you are open to revenge. Kill out of the way and clean up the mess. Keep to your part of town and walk with confidence everywhere else. 

There was nothing established here. Max, Jessica, and Ibe walked free and stood out of place to the side. Max glared daggers at him. Only he could balance a weapon and sympathy in a gaze. Jessica teetered between confusion and rebellion. Ibe looked emotionless. The organization had sped off, and all that was left were tire marks in the dust. 

One overarching rule hovered over Ash; comply with your role or prepare to bleed for your defiance. 

Max had a bloody lip- but that was all.

Ash didn’t understand. He always understood. He was kept the closest to Golzine. He heard every report from his gang. Why didn’t he understand that one person he longed to?

“Eiji. Talk. Now,” Ash sneered, instinctively straightening and pacing until he was face to face with Eiji. 

“What do you want to know?” Eiji replied, almost innocently. Bright eyes and a gun concealed under his shirt. Their audience already seemed resigned. Ash had cut their restrains the moment they walked past, and they rubbed their chafed wrists with wide eyes staring at Eiji. 

“Everything!” Ash wanted to apologize for the way his voice raised. It was abrupt, even for him. Ash was known for quick retorts and declarations- but those were well thought out. 

“I was asking for someplace to start.”

“Oh,” Ash breathed out, although his hands were still clenched at his side. “Who was that lady? And why the hell is she after you?”

“Cecilia Write,” Eiji answered immediately. “Assistant to the Kippard- the Republican Senator? She was the one who got him and Golzine in contact and who took charge after the scandal was released. The mafia accepted her, even if the old system fell apart. She started a new one. It wasn’t orderly. Former mafia dons remained in contact and went under aliases.”

“You were the one who wanted me to leave the mafia behind,” Ash pointed out, although the venom in his words didn’t quite reach his eyes.

He expected Eiji to shrug, to give a confused stare, anything other than the reaction he got. Eiji’s fists clenched at his side. Ash always loved storms- it only made sense for Eiji to be the same. No matter how many times it happened, Eiji's yelling would never feel natural. It was tainted with hospital rooms and gunshots. “It didn’t matter when I thought you were dead! I couldn’t just move on Ash. Not after everything  _ they _ did.”

“What did you do Eiji?”

He hoped it wasn’t what he thought. He hoped that his efforts hadn’t been in vain. 

“You know they wouldn’t just give up on it…”

“It?”

Eiji shook his head disparagingly. “Banana fish. The information was destroyed, but Ash you knew how many people there were. Everywhere. Every building had assistants. The scientists all had lab notes. They would have just made it again, or made something new. I couldn’t just do nothing.”

“How-”

_ How did you get the information? _

_ How have you gone this long and been safe? _

_ How much has this hurt you? _

“Your computer,” Eiji replied, although it seemed like a question. “I got it after the- the funeral. It had a starting point. I would go with Sing to visit Yut-Lung sometimes. They didn’t guard me. Yut-Lung got trained in poisons you know. Apparently he had figured out the basics but with the organic part of Banana fish. I’d overheard enough stuff from you and from the scientists at Golzines. I knew I could get the evidence again.”

“You gathered all the pieces? If they had gotten their hands on it…” Ash shook his head. It wasn’t something he wanted to think about. As much as he despised the drug and its creators, he always wondered what his life would have been like if he could just forget. 

“Eiji, no one alive knew it. You would have been safe.”

“I knew I could get the evidence, which means they could get it too.” Eiji’s eyes glossed the ground, and when they met Ash’s again they had a dangerous undercurrent. “Like you said no one alive knows it- at least completely. Except they didn’t know about your computer. They didn’t know I overheard it. They didn’t know Yut-Lung understood the chemistry.”

“So you?” 

Ash didn’t know if he wanted the answer. 

It was so easy to forget their audience. Ash cursed himself for letting the conversation take place here. It wasn’t safe, although nowhere would fucking be. Why did he bother? The better part of his brain supplied a picture of Eiji smiling carefree in Cape Cod. They were supposed to be safe there too. 

“I blackmailed them. Kind of. I do not know how to describe it quickly. If no one alive knew the information, but the people alive knew other people, it would make sense to go after them.” Eiji said it like nothing was wrong. It was the same tone he used when he mumbled under his breath about what he had to get done that day. 

When had his morning routine become vengeance?

Ash swallowed. The anxiety in his throat didn’t move. In fact, it seemed to feed off the discomfort. Eiji was his humanity; he realized that two weeks after waking up in the hospital with stitches in his side. Those two years had eroded everything. His body was malnourished and stiff. He had phantom limbs, and Eiji was the only exorcist, but that Eiji was gone. When all else was gone, what else could Ash do but put together the situation and pray that the brain he had forced upon him could be useful? 

Ash exhaled and let his shoulders relax. (Was ‘relax’ even the right word? He longed for the proper vocabulary to say slumped but not with defeat but with a realization, but feared the word's existence.) “Which is why they took Max and the rest,” Ash muttered out finally, not sparing a glance at Max, Jessica, and Ibe. 

Ash thought Eiji might have seen his behavior change. He hoped he would reach out a warm hand or envelop Ash so that his senses were replaced with him- Eiji safe and happy and in the sunlight again. If Eiji realized he didn’t show it. “Yes. They didn’t expect me to show up.”

“Then why did they wait in the warehouse?”

“It’s a warehouse,” Eiji stated simply, a hand spreading over the mosaic of cracked granite and metal sheets. “A truck was probably going to stop there and pick them up. The Mafia is still in shambles. No one could bail them out if they got caught.”

“If they wanted information from their hostages, why did they just let them go?”

Max whispered something behind them. Ash couldn’t tell what it was. 

“I had enough information on them. If they were to kill me they would have no way to get it back and no way to promise I would not leak it. If they killed Max or Jessica or Ibe they would have no chance of getting the information out of me.”

“You said they didn’t expect you to show up. That doesn’t make sense. They had guards. If they were looking for a distraction we would know by now. They could have ambushed Yut-Lung’s estate.”

“But they didn’t expect me to show up.” Eiji held up a finger and pointed it flippantly at Ash before letting it fall back at his side. It reminded Ash of Yut-Lung. “They knew you were alive. It is not hard to believe that Ash Lynx would go by himself. You wanted to afterall.”

Ash’s eyes widened- it hadn’t been this cold before had it? “They were going to use me as bait?”

“Yes and no. They could have dragged me out if they had you as a hostage.”

“As if I wouldn’t escape.” The tension didn’t break. Old Ash would have given a side-eye that fell into a chuckle that Eiji would reciprocate. Eiji only seemed interested in continuing his explanation. 

“Or they would use that. They wire-tapped Yut-Lung’s estate. They could have done the same to you.”

With eyes narrowed Ash responded, “I would’ve noticed it.” 

Eiji shrugged. “Maybe or maybe not. You’ve seen what they’re capable of.”

“Then why not just go ahead and wire-tap your apartment.”

“Because they didn’t think I was doing it.”

The glare was back. Ash hated how his mind supplied him with visions of Arthur with a knife, and Blanca watching over his training just knowing how much it would change him. Eiji wouldn’t be like them. He couldn’t, but he seemed too proud. Ash would have done the same thing logically. Did he truly hate his actions that seeing them reflected on Eiji made his stomach turn? Or was the decisions made for survival supposed to make him feel like this? 

Survival never seemed worth it. Especially not now. 

“What?” was the only response Ash could manage. 

“I can be careful. They didn’t even know I had information until you came to Japan. Suddenly, Ash Lynx is alive and they were curious. You came to visit me first. I met with Yut-Lung. It was suspicious.”

“If you had information they could have found it.”

He was a broken record. He knew it. He flinched at nostalgia but longed for familiarity. Eiji already knew that. Maybe that’s what scared him most. Eiji not being afraid of being found. Eiji willingly putting himself back into the fray. Eiji doing all of this while Ash was locked in an apartment world’s away, blissfully unaware. 

“Like I said, they couldn’t just kill me. They had false information. Those files Yut-Lung showed us? All fabricated. They were pretty convincing right?”

Come to think of it, when Ash had been handed a file detailing his own life his gang members were left out. Faces blurred in pictures and names just far enough off that upon skimming they seemed accurate. 

“Why?” His throat clenched again and his eyes burned. He hated it. He hated the feeling. He hated that he could envision the fire taking over Shorter’s body. He hated smelling the flames over and over. So many things went up in smoke around him. Fire was supposed to mean rebirth. A fresh start. A seed in a forest fire. Whoever had said rebirth was positive had lied.

“Everything I did was so that you could be safe after this,” Ash sneered. He tried to keep his temper under control when he was around Eiji. Blanca always told him his emotions would be the death of him, but God, did it even matter? “Why did you go back looking for trouble? You could have died. I don’t care if they didn’t want you dead yet, but they could do it easily.”

“Do you think I cared?” Eiji all but screamed. He mirrored the same intensity, all of the rage. If Ash’s graveyard was a mountain, Ash couldn’t help but wonder what Eiji’s was. “All I knew is that I was what killed you and Shorter. I got to live.” A tear hung at his chin and Eiji wiped it away with a forceful swipe. “Everything wasn’t happily ever after. I couldn’t feel powerless after all of that.”

“Eiji…”

He looked so resigned. It made Ash terrified. “I would be happy...if I managed to take it all down. I would make sure it was gone forever. I would be happy. I would feel better. And it didn’t work. I kept them all in check. I changed the documents Sing gave to Yut-Lung. I read through all the files on your computer and tried to understand them, and I did. No one else would lose a brother as long as I was alive, but it didn’t work. I was so tired Ash. Why are there so many bad people? I did everything I could, at least I think I did, and it didn’t matter. People still die. You were still dead and I still caused it.”

“Eiji look at me.” Eiji’s eyes were still pinned to the ground. Ash repeated himself and Eiji hesitantly lifted his head. Ash stepped forward, bridging the gap between them. He grabbed Eiji’s hand with all the force and comfort he wished he could have shown so long ago in the hospital. They were always so out of reach. Eiji let his fingers intertwine with Ash’s and burrowed his head against Ash’s neck. 

“You didn’t cause it,” Ash whispered. “I’m right here. I’m here and I’m not leaving. We’ll finish this. The world will never be pure, but if we can be happy, isn’t that enough?”

He didn’t know how long they stood there like that. He didn’t want to know. Ash didn’t know if he could see minutes in anything else but a timer. 

“I brought your computer and all the information I had to the beach with me,” Eiji admitted. It took Ash a moment to understand what he was talking about. The hospital was outside of the beach.  _ Attempted suicide by drowning. _

“I was going to let it sink.” Eiji shook his head against Ash’s shoulder. “It would be destroyed again and I would be gone to. I didn’t even do it. That fucking computer was all I had left of you.” Eiji laughed bitterly, and Ash tightened his arms around Eiji. “That’s not true though. I had memories and things that we did together, but that was you when you were alone. When no one was watching. At least I thought it was. But it was just information. If that information was yours I couldn’t let it just sit there and be unresolved.”

“It was just information?” Ash asked quietly.

“All that I could get open.”

“Do you still have it?”

It took Eiji a few seconds to respond. Part of Ash would have been happy for the information to be destroyed.

“Yeah, it’s here,” Eiji finally said, lifting his head. “I brought it with me. Why Aslan?”

“I want to show you something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! <3


	9. healing and hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter guys... this story has been a ride for me. it's the first thing I've written for a fandom in a long time, and man were the updates spuratic. But I truly enjoyed this so much. I love reading your comments and interacting about my favorite show. I hope you like the last chapter (although knowing me there might be a few other one shots in this universe) Thank you for everyone who has stuck around this long. <3

Yut-Lung watched the car pull up. He was surprised it wasn’t wrecked. And that it even returned. It seemed that Ash was still in the driver's seat, Eiji at his side, and the three hostages stowed behind them. It had taken Yut-Lung awhile to grasp why- not that he ever fully did- the Japanese boy stayed, but Yut-Lung could never understand why the rest of them followed suit. Yet, they still stayed and smiled at each other. The staff Yut-Lung had paid didn’t even have the same loyalty.

Sing talked about them- a lot. Quite frankly, too much; Sing never had good impulse control. He idolized Ash, but apparently, it went beyond just his hero. The kid had no right to even know these stories- stories of inside jokes being formed and cross country road trips, and Halloween parties. Sing wasn’t there, and Shorter was dead, and even from what Sing had pieced together, he still forgave Yut-Lung. Sing had trusted him enough to talk about the tight-knit (although it seemed it wasn’t so true now) group that sat in the car. 

There were no bullet holes in the side, no urgency to pull up to the estate. If anything, it was scared and hesitant. 

Max, Jessica- and Ibe was it?- strode out of the backseat and looked awkwardly up to the sky, and peered at their surroundings. Max gave a thoughtful look back at the two passengers left in the car before walking off with a grunt. 

Ms. Okumura was an enigma, somehow blending into the shadows the moment her son left and remaining hidden since. Yut-Lung had waved a few guards, and after no more than five minutes of pitiful searching, they came back empty-handed. 

Yut-Lung should have been mad. Furious even. Ms. Okumura sauntered into the property with a worried look in her eyes and a determination in her step only for her son to glare at her before running off. 

Yut-Lung would never admit his own kindness towards Eiji. Kindness felt earned, and Yue had nothing to show for it. But even he wanted to slink away from the encounter. Family interactions were a scar along porcelain skin.

Although questions still remained. Just an ounce of curiosity enough to keep Yut-Lung plastered to the stained glass windows, awaiting the interactions.

How could her son look so furious, and scared, and desperate and still leave?

Who was Eiji to dictate blood ties?

It had been two years. Two years of long struggles and documents and brawls that he and Sing poured over. It had been two years of running what was left of the Lee clan. It had been two years that should have been healing. If stitches repaired wounds, then what did antibodies do? Yut-Lung was accustomed to injuries- he had to be. Even when his chef had fired a loose bullet at him, it didn’t hurt. Discomfort, maybe. 

Theatrics were a way to get treatment, and even the doctors for those wounds left in the end. 

Sing assumed all the greenhouses and gardens filled with exotic plants with perfectly tailored soil and sunlight were poisons. So many of them were herbal remedies. He made his own antibodies from the soil and was ready to sink into the gardens each time he passed them. The toxic plants would be potent enough to make it happen with no interference. 

Eiji shot glares at his mother, went against Ash's perfect vision of him, had sent Sing’s into too many spirals for Yut-Lung to comfort- so why was he allowed to come back unharmed?

Why did he have someone to protect him?

Why was he still smiling through the car window?

Yut-Lung almost sent more guards to look for Ms. Okurmura, but he didn’t know if he could handle another memory of a corpse and blood ties spilled on the ground. Instead, he waved towards the group that Eiji had managed to grab and keep close to him and led them inside.

Sing would be back at the estate by nightfall. Maybe he would know what to do. 

Yut-Lung smiled to himself, remembering the naive gang leader leaning enthusiastically over a flower and being shocked when they were just decorative. 

Even if Yut-Lung were just an accessory, Sing still seemed enthralled with the mundane. 

  * -



_ Eiji winced when the computer logged in effortlessly the moment the hard-drive was inserted. There were countless files, all listed with detailed names and times and hidden away in orderly files. The larger files were all encrypted, and the few smaller ones had broad statements and redacted information. _

_ One file was separate from the rest with too many security measures for something labeled so simply. ML. _

Eiji had always been curious about what was on that file. Ash was secretive. Dealing with information like gambling, and never revealing too much information. Maybe that’s why Eiji didn’t push. Somewhere someone else would be able to hack it, but Eiji didn’t bother to look.

Ash had his life stripped from him, privacy revoked, and whatever remained sauntered around to the nearest audience. A private file on his own computer was the least he deserved. 

The drive back to Yut-Lung’s estate was filled with awkward silence, lingering glances, and backroads. 

What was the saying? Tension in the air being cut with a knife. English idioms were the most difficult for Eiji to learn. Ash would try to explain them whenever his gang used them in casual conversation, but even Ash and all his genius couldn’t explain it concisely. The knife one, however, Eiji understood. 

‘High tensions’ and ‘strenuous encounters’ were the most common answers to Eiji’s inquiries of the street gangs' relations. The alternative was a long string of cusses and heavy sighs. Most of those conflicts were resolved with knife fights. Maybe the idiom had some truth after all. 

Max was the one to finally break the silence. His expressions were so readable, the uncomfortable shifting in the backseat, the lingering glares and contemplative gaze in his eyes. For someone who tried his best to be lighthearted and comical, Max could explode when he wanted answers.

“What the hell just happened?” 

Ibe stared nervously next to him but leaned forward all the same. Jessica had rested her head against the window the moment they left and didn’t move it. The only indication she was listening was a brief second of eye contact before going back to the rows of the abandoned city. Eiji knew she was still listening. He hoped she was okay. 

Ash looked expectantly over at him. Eiji hoped he wasn’t dreaming the playful look in Ash’s eyes. The one that would so happily say- ‘ _ what did just happen onii-chan?’ _

(Eiji had insisted his sister call him by his first name after he left the first time.)

Ash drove, the sun shone through the car window, and Eiji inhaled.

“I’m sorry for putting you all in danger.” Max opened his mouth to protest but Eiji cut him off sternly with a slow shake of his head. “Don’t try to deny it. I’m sorry. There’s so much more to say, but I’m not sure if I’m ready for that. I truly wanted to protect you all, and I couldn’t.” His voice cracked towards the end, and Ash hesitated before sliding his hand over. Eiji grabbed it like a lifeline. “You were put in danger once everything was over. You had all moved on and I dragged you back into it.” Eiji’s shoulders shook, and he brought his knees to his chest. 

“Trust me kid, none of us ‘moved on’,” Max said after a moment of silence. “We’ve made amends with it. You two of anyone lost the most. We aren’t mad- at least at you. Your actions were definitely questionable.” He chuckled to himself, and Jessica turned from the window and inched closer to him. “But,” he punctuated with a raised finger, “It’s not like we noticed either. We’re supposed to be the adults, and you dealt with this all on your own for so long…” 

His laugh had long faded, and Max wiped at his eyes. 

“The gang’s back together though. We got a free stay at a ridiculously expensive mansion.” Max paused, breathing in the sunlight. Maybe that was the closest thing to hope that they had- and maybe that was enough. “We have two years to make up for, I don’t intend to make it any harder for you.”

Ibe nodded beside him. “You know I love you Ei-chan. I was scared, I thought I lost you again and I was still powerless to save you.” He switched quickly to Japanese, letting the harsh consonants subside and his voice mellow.  _ “You’re the family I have. I could never be mad at you.” _

It felt so strange to cry. Eiji spent two years pouring everything into fixing his mistakes and his weakness. Holding desperately onto something that was so far away and struggling to keep the darkness from infecting it too. He had pushed everyone away. Ash had done the same, at least Eiji thought he did. Eiji was so insistent on wanting to stay by Ash’s side, but couldn’t let others do the same. Hypocritical- or maybe just a desperate attempt at safety. Self-sacrifice and destiny and tainted memories. Maybe Eiji could be more. He hoped he could. Max and Ibe had forgiven him at the drop of a dime, Ash was still alive, Yut-Lung helped them, they had a run-in that didn’t result in a gunshot in their side. 

Part of him wanted to scream and push them away. They were happy- though would he have any way of truly knowing that? - who was Eiji to taint that. 

But, Ash’s hand remained intertwined with his. Ash had come back, and even if neither of them were the same, but they were still them. That had to count for something. 

Eiji squeezed back harder as Yut-Lung’s estate came into view. He wiped his tears with a shaking hand and whispered ‘thank you’ to the wind. He hoped everyone heard it. He hoped his voice would carry over the car’s old engine and his own heartbeat. 

The car came to a halt, and before Eiji could even think about reaching for the car handle, Jessica lunged forward and wrapped her arms around Eiji’s shoulder from the backseat. It was an awkward hug, and Eiji didn’t quite know how to reciprocate it, but he felt so warm. Nausea in his throat died down even if it was just for a second, and his hands shook out of emotion rather than emptiness. 

Ash had let go of his hand and waited patiently. 

“Don’t scare me like that again kid, got it?” Jessica whispered with her head against Eiji’s shoulder. 

Eiji nodded back and let himself smile. 

  * \- 



His mother. 

He was so caught up in everything that he almost forgot. 

Almost. 

Her presence was like a sinking feeling. Not one of fear- she’d never been that extreme- and not one of power. Eiji had run off to another country after all. Maybe it was longing. He grew up with perfect families on TV, and they were limited to that- actors with a script. Somehow the ragtag and forgotten gang members of New York City had given him more love than his mother ever had. They had given it freely and without expectation, and that was worth more than anything. 

He saw the way Max would look at Micheal, and the happiness in his eyes when they hugged, and he started to understand.

Ash had opened his eyes to everything. They called Ash ‘the devil,’ but if true happiness were a sin, Eiji would walk through hell to see him again. 

Max, Ibe, and Jessica left the car first. There was an unspoken agreement between them to leave Ash and Eiji alone. 

“Ash..”

“Eiji…”

Eiji stammered, his hands restless in his lap. Ash was always so much more subtle. “Are we okay? You can be honest, I know I fucked up- I don’t even know what’s happening half the time, an-”

Ash’s lips were on his. Just for a second, a fleeting touch of warmth and a gentle exhale before Ash pulled back, foreheads still touching. 

“I should have asked,” Ash muttered apologetically, already shifting to pull away. Eiji grabbed his hands and kissed him again. His lips were probably salty, and he looked like a mess, and for once, he didn’t care. Maybe it hadn’t hit him until this moment, that Ash was really there. Not a gang leader, not an heir, just his Ash, in Japan. 

Eiji pulled back and let his hands stop shaking. There was a gentle wind outside the window, the muted sounds of the city behind them, but all he could feel was Ash. 

“We’re okay,” Ash said, a resigned sort of calm. Ash had only looked resigned to destiny before, but his eyes sparkled in the sun, and Eiji was finally close enough to see it. Ash was looking towards the future. 

“We’re okay,” he repeated. “We will be okay.”

Eiji let himself fall in Ash’s arms. His mother still waited for them, Sing had voicemails upon voicemails left in his phone, the gallery was still running, but Eiji let himself rest. 

  * \- 



_ One file was separate from the rest with too many security measures for something labeled so simply. ML. _

My Love. 

Everything Ash Lynx didn’t say. 


End file.
